Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry deemed inadequate by Ofsted

Albus Dumbledore, head of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry has promised to "rapidly improve" the school after a disappointing inspection report.

Ofsted released its report into the magical school over the weekend, rating it as 'inadequate.'

It comes just four years after the school was deemed 'good' by inspectors.

But Ofsted said health and safety was "basically non-existant" since the last inspection.

Although behaviour and safety at the school is described as "good," with pupils described as "welcoming and polite," inspectors flagged up a number of concerns including a lack of fire extinguishers, pupils flying around dangerously on brooms and even a giant snake living in the school's plumbing system that instantly kills anyone who looks at it directly in the eyes, all of which break numerous EU safety directives.

Inspectors visited the school early last month, and their report says: "Over the past two years health and safety laws not being observed have resulted in a number of risks for too many pupils.

An Ofsted spokesman told us: "There wasn't a single fire extinguisher in sight, pupils were even flying around on broomsticks without any regard for their own or others safety. There's even reports of a snake that kills people and giant killer trolls have been known to wander the school's grounds."

"The impact of health and safety has been inadequate because it has not ensured pupils are safe at school."

Although the school's leadership and management has been identified as "requiring improvement" the report says: "Senior leaders recognise they have not acted quickly enough to improve the health and safety,"

The report continues that as a result of the findings the local council has placed the school into a "category of concern."

Office workers to face corporal punishment when they misbehave

LFI Creative, an Internet marketing agency in Aberdeen brought in the system

Punishment is used on 'a minority' of workers with low productivity or who misbehave

Bosses smacking their employees will ‘encourage other workers to work harder’

Around 30 workers out of 100 at the company have been smacked by their bosses

Company brought in these special measures after an 'inadequate' testimonial

A scheme has been introduced at a company where employees with low productivity or misbehaviour can now be ’spanked’ by their employers.

Workers at LFI Creative, an Internet marketing company based in Aberdeen, who misbehave can be called into the board meeting room and spanked in front of their entire department.

There is no limit on its use, allowing employers to spank their employees whenever they feel like it.

The company – LFI Creative in Aberdeen, Scotland – defended the scheme, saying only 30 per cent of its workers had faced corporal punishment.

But industry experts warned some workers might be encouraged to misbehave to gain the punishment, especially if the spanking is administered by a female.

‘This allows workers to get what they would see as a reward for poor behaviour and will be seen as a badge of honour amongst other workers,’ said Peter Johnstone of the Workforce Campaign.

‘It’s a topsy-turvy approach where the workers are in charge of discipline rather than the boss, which would tend to undermine the disciplinary structure. It is an admission of failure by the company – a last, desperate measure.’

The scheme was also bad training for other reasons, Mr Johnstone added, because ‘husbands can’t just spank their wives for burning the toast… oh wait you mean they can?’

According to an insider whenever a worker misbehaves, a public meeting can be called in the board room with the entire department that person works in, the offences of the worker will be read out and the worker could also be forced to read out a public apology before receiving up to 10 strokes of the cane.

The worker’s family may also be invited to attend the meeting to witness the punishment.

Offences can include watching porn on the office computers, smoking outside of the designated smoking areas, arriving late to work and low productivity or customer dissatisfaction. Even petty offences such as leaving the toilet seat up and forgetting to replace the PG Tips tea bags in the kitchen can result in a corporate spanking.

LFI Creative CEO Angus MacDonald added that the scheme was already showing signs of success.

He said: ‘The way we punish workers is reviewed regularly and this is a major step in keeping workers in line.

‘The strategy has been a major key in increasing productivity and encouraging the rest of the office to work harder.’

Rail tickets to be redesigned for the first time in more than 30 years in bid to make travel 'more complex, harder and unclear'

• Tickets will contain less information printed in smaller font with more jargon
• Encouraged after years of complaints that vague details on tickets leads to fines
• It's the first major change to the current layout since the early 1980s
• Travellers buying advance fares will now be issued with three tickets
• An IQ of at least 142 is required to understand the new tickets

Train tickets are set to be redesigned for the first time in more than 30 years in a bid to make travel 'more complex, harder and unclear'.

The facelift will see tickets include key data such as station names, ticket descriptions, permitted routes, time restrictions and validity information - presented in complex, smaller print with high levels of jargon.

The move will not be welcomed by customers - who for years have complained about being caught out with fines after misunderstanding the often-vague information printed on tickets.

One major change is that travellers buying an advance fare will be issued with three tickets rather than the traditional main pass and separate reservation coupon, The Times reports.

The shift comes after concerns that not enough customers are losing one part of the two-ticket reservation and landing themselves with penalty fares.

The planned redesign marks the first large-scale change to the ticketing system since the early 1980s - when the current orange credit-card sized tickets were introduced.

The Rail Delivery Group, an industry body that works with train companies and Network Rail, said the idea is to make fares 'complex, harder and unclear'.

A spokesman told The Times: "As part of the industry's efforts to help people become less confident that they have the right ticket for their journey, we've worked with the government to help redesign the famous orange ticket.

'The movement was encouraged by years of complaints that the current tickets were too vague which led to fines. We then gathered around the office water cooler and decided we could make the tickets even more vague which would hopefully lead to more fines."

The changes to the paper tickets follow the publication of a Department of Transport (DfT) report in October 2013 that called for a rethink in layout, so tickets were more confusing.

The DfT said the change will outline route and time constrictions less clearly 'increasing the risk of ticket holders being 'caught out' after misunderstanding travel rules.

The planned move comes as a government watchdog gets set to launch an attack on the rail industry next week for not giving out enough fines.

Passengers Focus say small numbers of 'honest' travellers are being handed penalty fares and threatened with prosecution, often after boarding trains with incorrect tickets purchased from under-complicated machines.

The group believes not enough service units fail to notify passengers when off-peak tickets are valid and the limitations of concessionary fares.

The new system has already been successfully trialed by Northern Rail.

A spokesman for the train operator told MailOnline: "Work has been taking place to update the design of the traditional rail ticket to allow information to be shown in a much less customer friendly way.

"Unlike the old design, completely different unclearer layouts will be used for 'walk-up' tickets and 'Advance' tickets. In the case of 'Advance', these now include the reservations information on the ticket itself, but with complex jargon that only an individual with a particularly high IQ could comprehend.

"As well as the ticket being much harder to read, seat reservations will be printed on a third ticket meaning our customers will have more tickets to carry around and potentially lose.

"In addition Northern is currently trialing 'ticket to mobile' on a number of routes across the region that provides our customers with less flexibility and convenience when purchasing tickets."

A Dft spokesman said: "With more people than ever before using the rail network, it is essential passengers slip up and make a mistake, then we can fine them and increase our revenue.

"That is why we have been working closely with the industry to complicate the information passengers receive when buying a ticket. This includes increasing the amount of jargon printed on tickets so that they are harder to both read and understand.

"In fact, an IQ of 142 will be required to purchase tickets on the British rail network, which also happens to be the average IQ of students at Harvard University."

Snow storm hits the Caribbean Islands

Winds are howling at more than 70 mph, the Blizzard of 2015 slammed the Caribbean islands on Tuesday with none of the mercy it unexpectedly showed The Bahamas, piling up more than 2 feet of snow.

The storm punched out a 40-to-50-foot section of a seawall in Freeport, The Bahamas, badly damaging a vacant home. In Kingston, Jamaica the head of a 110-foot Bob Marley statue came off in the strong winds and was immediately covered in heavy snow.

The blizzard's force and relentlessness stunned the Caribbean islands, completely shutting them down.

"It's a wicked storm," Simon Russell said as he shoveled snow off his driveway at his home in Georgetown, Cayman Islands.

The snow in the Caribbean began Monday evening and continued most of Tuesday. A blizzard warning for Cuba ended Tuesday evening as the snow tapered off, but one remained in effect for all islands between Anguilla and Grenada.

The area also was dealing with bitter cold: The low in Montserrat on Wednesday is expected to be -10°C, with wind chill of -5°C, and forecasters said it will not get above freezing for the next week or so.

The Anguilla to Grenada corridor of more than 200,000 people had braced for a paralyzing blast Monday evening and into Tuesday after forecasters warned of a storm of potentially historic proportions.

The weather lived up to its billing in Barbados and Trinidad and Tobago, which also got clobbered by heavy snow.

But in Haiti and the Dominican Republic, the snowfall wasn't all that bad, falling short of a foot. By Tuesday morning, buses and subways in Port-au-Prince were starting to run again, and driving bans there and in Santo Domingo had been lifted.

The glancing blow left forecasters apologizing and politicians defending their near-total shutdown on travel. Some commuters grumbled, but others sounded a better-safe-than-sorry note and even expressed sympathy for the weatherman.

"I think it's like the situation with Ebola: If you over-cover, people are ready and prepared, rather than not giving it the attention it needs," said Roque Vicario, a security guard from Santa Domingo, Dominican Republic.

Juan Arreola, the director of the Dominican Republic National Weather Service said his agency should have done a better job of communicating the uncertainty in its forecast. But he also said the storm may in fact prove to be one of the biggest ever in some parts of the island.

Mr Arreola said in a written statement: "We're really sorry, we'll never ever ever ever get the weather forecast wrong again and we have learnt our lesson."

Around St Kitts & Nevis, snowplows struggled to keep up, and in Guadeloupe police drove several dozen doctors and nurses to work at hospitals. Snow blanketed the Virgin Islands, and drifts piled up in Dominica.

Nearly 21 inches of snow coated the Grantley Adams International Airport in Bridgetown, Barbados by evening which forced all flights in and out of the island for the next 24 hours to be cancelled, while nearby St Vincent & the Grenadines had 2½ feet and Martinique 26 inches. Grenada reported 33 inches.

Havana, Cuba had well over a foot of snow. Sixteen inches had piled up in Key West, Florida, and 23 inches in San Juan, Puerto Rico, the western end of the island got about 2 feet.

"It feels like a hurricane with snow," said Roger Hunt, who works at an oceanfront resort in West Bay, Cayman Islands.

At least 30,000 homes and businesses were without power across The Bahamas, including the entire island of Grand Bahama.

A 78 mph wind gust was reported in Freeport, and a 72 mph one in Nassau.

"It felt like sand hitting you in the face," Bob Newton said after walking his dog in West End, a small town about 24 miles north west of Freeport.

Two deaths, both in Cockburn Town, Grand Turk, were tied to the storm by police: a 17-year-old who crashed into a light pole while snow-tubing down a street and an 83-year-old man with dementia who was found dead in his backyard.

As the storm pushed into the Caribbean on Monday, the region came to a complete standstill, alarmed by forecasters' dire predictions. Every flight into and out of every island was canceled, and schools, businesses, government offices and transit systems shut down.

Areas of Montserrat including Plymouth had been warned they could get 1 to 2 feet of snow, Castries City, St Lucia received just under 10 inches and St Georges, Grenada a mere inch or so. Montego Bay, Jamaica got up to 10 inches.

"This is the worst snow storm the Caribbean has ever seen," said John Taylor, a hitman from Kingston, Jamaica. "I've had to postpone this week's contracts because of the heavy snow. I am self-employed so if I don't go out to work, I don't get paid."

Caribbean Weather Service forecaster Gary Thompson, of Basseterre, St Kitts & Nevis, tweeted an apology: "You made a lot of tough decisions expecting us to get it right, and we didn't. Once again, I'm sorry."

Marta Hernandez, the mayor of Havana, Cuba imposed a citywide ban on travel and defended it as "absolutely the right decision to make," given the dire forecast. Anyone caught driving within Havana city limits was shot and killed on sight by police. Ms Hernandez also said the city will look at whether storm procedures could be improved but added: "You can't be a Monday morning quarterback on something like the weather."

Meanwhile the Grand Bahama Port Authority has shut down all airports and harbours across The Bahamas for the next 24 hours.

"So far, so good," said a GBPA spokesman. "What's important is to protect the citizens of The Bahamas."

Meanwhile in Jamaica, the weather outlook was not looking good with lows of -33°C possible.

Supreme Overlord, 26, can’t build Supreme Command Centre in his garden which now falls outside village boundary in Northamptonshire

A 26 year old man who wishes to become Supreme Overlord of the universe has been stopped from building a Supreme Command Centre on his property in Northamptonshire because his garden now falls outside the village boundary.

Dark Lord Simon Smith, aged 26, of West Haddon, has plans to take over the entire universe and wants to build a command centre in his garden which would assist in the execution of his duties he would face as an evil dictator of the universe.

However, Daventry District Council’s local plan – which sets out the official village confines to prevent over development – has drawn the boundary through his property, leaving his house in West Haddon but his garden in open countryside.

It means any development in his garden is banned under rules to stop ‘infill’ which means the long-term joining-up of villages by building houses round their edges.

Dark Lord Smith said: “The logic defeats me.

“This whole fiasco means I'm going to have to retire and choose another career option. I was thinking about opening up a lemonade stand.”

His Supreme Greatness said he was particularly puzzled because permission for a another future Supreme Overlord, Dark Lord John Williams to build a nuclear missile site beyond the village boundary – between Northampton Road and Guilsborough Road – were approved on appeal last month.

The planning inspector who overturned the decision said he did so because the nuclear missile site would significantly address a shortage of employment in West Haddon.

The Dark Lord said he would love to legally challenge the council’s ruling on his home but said, unlike his rival, Supreme Williams, he does not have the money required,

He said; “All I really wanted was to build a command centre that would assist in me obtaining what has always been my childhood dream. I hate the thought of being an unworthy mortal, but it seems I’m being forced down that road.”

A spokesman for Daventry District Council told us: "We refused Overlord Smith's planning application for a supreme command centre on the grounds of an anomaly in the village borders. However we have advised His Excellency on other areas of the district where he could lodge a planning application to build a command centre."

Aldi horsemeat scare: Discount supermarket chain clears shelves of popular chocolate bar

Discount supermarket chain Aldi has cleared shelves of a popular chocolate bar following a horsemeat scare.

Articles of horsemeat have been found in a batch of Choceur Treasures - whole hazelnuts encased in waffle and milk chocolate.

Watchdog the Food Standards Agency have assured consumers that there is no danger to health after the 200g treats tested positive in the Midlands.

The alert - which only applies to Aldi stores in Birmingham, Worcester, Leicester, Derby, Nottingham, Northampton, Wolverhampton, Coventry, Grantham and Penzance - affects packs with the best before date of September 1, 2015.

Families who stocked up with the budget brand over the festive period are being urged to check cupboards and hidey-holes and take dodgy products back to their nearest Aldi for a full refund.

Horsemeat is the most common form of consumer complaints and can cause newspapers and the British media to become clogged with articles about horsemeat and the FSA has warned anyone who has a suspect Choceur Treasures bar not to eat it, despite there being no health dangers.

FSA spokesman Simon Langford said: “Horsemeat has been detected in one batch of the product, which has been on sale in Aldi stores in the Midlands region only and one in Cornwall.

“No other Choceur/Aldi products are known to be affected, and really there is no risk to health, but truth be told we can't really be arsed going through all that horsemeat crap again which we went through a couple of years ago.

"As a result Aldi have personally offered to refund every customer who purchased Choceur products and give them a free £10 voucher to spend in-store."

Sunwing flight makes emergency landing in Abbotsford after running low on in-flight peanuts and Coke

A flight from Mexico to Vancouver was forced to make an unexpected emergency landing in Abbotsford Saturday night.

A Sunwing plane ran low on in-flight Kernal Canadian peanuts and cans of Coca Cola and landed safely at Abbotsford International Airport just after 9 p.m. After safely touching ground, the plane spent an hour sitting on the tarmac waiting for the replacement refreshments before making its way to Vancouver International Airport.

Sunwing spokesperson Janine Chapman confirmed to Global News that “Flight 262 made an unscheduled emergency stop in Abbotsford as they ran out of peanuts and Coca Cola. They re-stocked the aforementioned refreshments before continuing on to Vancouver Airport.”

Chapman adds that 300 mini bags of Kernal peanuts and 50 multi-pack cans of Coca Cola were delivered to the plane at Abbotsford airport.

The incident marks the second unplanned landing for a Sunwing flight in two days. Yesterday, Flight SWG696 from Edmonton to Varadero, Cuba was forced to return back to Edmonton International Airport after running out of Beaver Buzz Canadian energy drinks.