A Sunday league footballer has issued a “full and heartfelt” apology to his teammates after letting the team down by conceding four goals in the second half, admitting he was distracted by an ice cream van pulling into the car park.
Gary “Safe Hands” McDonald, 34, of The Dog & Duck FC, said he “lost all concentration” during the match against rival pub side The Kings Arms after hearing the distinctive chimes of “Greensleeves” from behind the goal.
“I’d been thinking about a 99 Flake since the warm-up,” McDonald told The Gazette.
“When I heard that tune, my head was gone. Before I knew it, they’d scored twice and I was halfway through ordering a Screwball.”
Team captain Steve Pringle said the incident had left morale “at an all-time low”.
“We were 1–0 up at half time and looking solid. Then Gary vanished from the six-yard box and reappeared licking a Twister. The ref didn’t know what to do.”
Manager Derek “Del” Baines confirmed McDonald would “remain part of the squad” but would be fined one match fee and banned from all frozen desserts until the end of the season.
“We can’t have this happening again,” Baines said.
“If an ice cream van pulls up during a cup final, we’re finished.”
McDonald concluded his apology by promising fans “it won’t happen again” and that he will “stick to a Capri-Sun at half time like everyone else”.
The Dog & Duck went on to lose 5–2.
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