Britain’s seagulls are set to take industrial action next month over what they describe as “insufficient chip allocation” from seaside visitors, the British Union of Gulls (BUG) has announced.
The strike — the first in avian history — is scheduled to begin on the first weekend of the school summer holidays, and is expected to cause “significant disruption” to traditional beach activities.
A BUG spokesperson, Gulliver Peck, said:
“We have tolerated shrinking portion sizes for years. Once, a gull could feed a family on a single dropped cod and chips. Now we’re fighting over two soggy fries and half a sausage.”
According to BUG, inflation, rising fish prices, and the “double whammy” of seafront chip shops replacing paper cones with closed cardboard boxes have all contributed to the dispute.
The Department for Coastal Affairs has urged both sides to “remain calm” and to avoid “violent swooping” during negotiations. However, tensions remain high, with reports of militant seagulls in Scarborough already refusing to snatch sandwiches until “a fairer sharing arrangement” is agreed.
The strike could also impact inland cities, with urban gulls threatening to target Greggs customers in retaliation for what they call “historic pastry injustices”.
Peck warned:
“If our demands aren’t met, this summer will see empty skies over Britain’s beaches… and dangerously full bins.”
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