Sunday 23 July 2017

Sky Cinema and AXN to launch new TV channels

Sky Cinema is launching two extra screens dedicated to celluloid violence: Sky Cinema Violence and Sky Cinema Extreme Violence. If successful Sky Cinema Language and Sky Cinema Language HD will also join the movie package.

Instead of violence being edited out, more violence will be added to special versions of films for the new channels.

Simon Turley, Sky Spokesman said: "We are launching the channel with a theme night in which we only show films in which everyone in them ends up dead. The channel is due to launch on August 11 on the anniversary of the London riots. There will also be a +1 channel because everybody, whether they admit it or not, likes to see violence over and over again.

"The new screen dedicated exclusively to the bad language of the big screen will also offer a theme night on its launch, showing films with at least one utterance of the "see you next Tuesday" flavoured expletive, which I'm not officially allowed to say on this statement."

Lock, Stock And Two Smoking Barrels fits both channels perfectly and will be extensively shown. Footage from violent video games will also be shown in morning slots when no 18 certificate can legally be shown. A complete tour of Afghanistan as played in a Call Of Duty game by a hardcore gamer will feature in the schedule of he first week.

Irvine Welsh the author of Trainspotting has said to have been booked to introduce some of the films. A commotion was caused when he accidentally walked into the Sky News studio and started introducing the "f'**king weather", as a result OFCOM has fined for a TV station for the first ever time for a non compliant weather forecast.

Meanwhile, in Europe, Sony-owned broadcaster AXN is set to release new coloured channels to join their portfolio. Currently, in addition to the main AXN channel, AXN White and AXN Black is available to customers in a number of countries including Poland, Hungary, Romania, Bulgaria and the Czech Republic.

Sony have stated that the following channels will be added to the AXN line-up:

AXN Yellow - Showing Chinese films
AXN Green - Showing films from other plants across the galaxy
AXN Blue - Showing films from underwater
AXN Grey - Showing old Hollywood films nobody wants to watch anymore
AXN Purple - Barney 24 hours a day
AXN Multicoloured - Stoned TV