Friday 14 July 2023

Christmas Ghosts set to strike in row over pay and expenses

The three Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Future, as well as Jacob Marley, are set to take industrial action this Christmas in a row over pay and employee expenses, the Fright union has said.

The strike could cause some disruption during what could be the busiest Christmas period since the pandemic.

The ghosts are well known for visiting selfish people at Christmas in an attempt to get them to change their ways.

They will strike entirely on December 24th and 25th unless the Government meets the demands of the Fright union which represents the ghosts.

The impact of the action is uncertain, although Fright said more selfish and un-reformed people in 2024 was a 'strong possibility'.

The three ghosts gained fame in the 1840s when they were successful in reforming London based moneylender Ebeneezer Scrooge into a kind and thoughtful man, from his previous character of being selfish, self-centered and greedy.

A spokesghost at Fright said in a statement:

"We find it entirely unacceptable the way this government is treating our members.

"Our ghosts are out working the nightshift on Christmas and they need to receive a fair pay for this. Not only that, but they need expenses covering also.

"One of our employees, Jacob Marley, wears a large chain which he carries around in the afterlife as a symbol of how chained he was to his work when he was alive. It was starting to get rusty and he's had to go out and buy a new one. The Government have refused to allow him to claim this on expenses.

"It's a similar situation with Ghost of Christmas Future who accidentally damaged his robe after having one too many Peach Schnapps at the office Christmas party last year. He had to foot the bill for a new robe himself.

"These working practices are simply unacceptable and unless the Government comes up with a better solution at the negotiating table, these strikes will be going ahead."

The Government's Department for Poltergeist Affairs has so far refused to detail what offer could be on the table at the next round of negotiations.