Householders across the UK have been dismayed to find out that they must now declare any teddy bears, stuffed animals or dolls they have lying about their houses, as well as pets like cats, dogs or even spiders when filling in the census form.
The Census Director Officer, Sam Barry, wants to find out how much of a problem most houses actually have with spiders by getting people to count them rather than getting scared by them, if a house is found to have too many spiders the arachnids can be deported to countries with bigger populations of spiders and often ones which are actually poisonous, such as Australia or Brazil.
When quizzed about the requirement to declare teddy bears, in a press conference, Mr Barry said: "We are looking to find how much of a trend it is to replace boyfriends and girlfriends or even pets with cuddly toys, a growing trend among many adults in the UK."
The census forms will start going out in the next week, and anyone who declines to take part will automatically lose the right to live in Britain since they haven't declared themselves.
Furthermore, new penalties have been released to get tough on those who give inaccurate information, as a result Mr Barry told the press conference that anyone who fails to give the correct number of spiders living in their home, and they could face prosecution and a £250,000 fine.
Homeowners will be required to state how many cuddly toys are living in the home, their names and what TV programme or movie they are from.
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