The water supply in Sittingbourne was found to be at least 5% horse during routine tests on the supply at residence and commercial buildings in the town.
Sittingbourne resident Simon Williams told us, “I feel violated. I was drinking water out of the tap in my kitchen last summer during the heatwave and I've spent countless hours enjoying its tasteless taste only to find out I've actually been drinking a horse – at least in part.”
“I would never knowingly drink horse – what am I, some sort of French pervert? But Southern Water seems to think they can cut a few corners by including a tiny insignificant amount in their supply.”
“I didn't think I could trust water suppliers any less. I was wrong.”
Southern Water spokesman, Helmut Vermer, confirmed the reports before insisting that no consumers were at risk due to the contamination.
“Horse is perfectly safe, water supplies in France contain about 35% horse, and France is only a 77 mile drive from Sittingbourne. Anyway even though horse might not be to everyone’s taste, we can assure all of our customers that drinking horse will have absolutely no long-term effects.”
“Now, just don’t ask about our water supply in Folkestone.”
Southern Water spokesman, Helmut Vermer, confirmed the reports before insisting that no consumers were at risk due to the contamination.
“Horse is perfectly safe, water supplies in France contain about 35% horse, and France is only a 77 mile drive from Sittingbourne. Anyway even though horse might not be to everyone’s taste, we can assure all of our customers that drinking horse will have absolutely no long-term effects.”
“Now, just don’t ask about our water supply in Folkestone.”
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