Monday, 17 June 2013

National movement towards apathy gathers precisely no momentum

The Young people of today who just don’t care about the world around them and are generally ignorant and dismissive of politics and life in general now have a voice.

Life is getting increasingly harder for the younger generation of today yet The Campaign for National Apathy which launched in 2012 just after the Olympics has now attracted millions of followers and organisers say that there could be many more because “mostly people can’t be arsed to join the campaign and if you don’t join we count you as a member.”

However with the rather obvious point that nobody within the organisation could ever get the energy required to do something as intricate as keep track of members. The chairman who doesn't actually exist has said “We don’t even have a logo.”

The campaign is apathetic about politics in particular and has adopted the motto “Que Sera Sera whatever will be, will be” made famous as lyrics in the 1950’s Doris Day song.

The campaign’s leader Frank Smith who is proud to have a very average name and standing in life was particularly vocal about the work and the campaigning organisation that he founded yet told us off the record that he doesn't give a hoot about it all.

He said: “We started the campaign for National Apathy because there were so many things wrong with the world and there is no way that we could possibly do anything about it, the best thing to do is just sit back, relax, enjoy what you can and just generally stick your head in the sand.

"Nobody’s doing anything, nobody’s campaigning, nobody’s writing letters, nobody’s being vocal, the irony of it all is that we call ourselves a movement, a movement that does absolutely bugger all.”

Millions more are expected to officially confirm their apathy by not doing anything about anything and so the campaigns numbers can only grow and grow, politicians and business leaders are said to be “pleased” and “relaxed” by the existence of the organisation because it means they feel safe to carry on with their policies that are unpopular with people who are not apathetic.

The leader of the Large Corporation Interest Alliance Richard Golfer said: “Big business used to have pay lip service to the concerns of so called ordinary people, now that we know so many ordinary people are passionate about being apathetic there are a lot of things where moral concerns and ethics in the businesses that I represent that can just be scrapped and that usually means more profit, I gave myself a huge bonus to celebrate the success of the Apathy movement.”

In the spirit of the story it has been decided that this article won’t actually come to an end, it will just trail off, it had to have a word count of at least 500 words which it is now very close to but not quite so what could I write to get it to that...

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