A PERVERT, caught again with child pornography, has dodged prison for the seventh time - because he "would suffer badly".
Charles Simpson was already on a suspended jail sentence for making indecent images when police found more on his mobile phone.
The 24-year-old had also been using his brother's computer to download other vile pictures of young boys and girls.
At Teesside Crown Court, Judge Stephen Buxton passed another suspended sentence, and told him: "This really is your last chance. I know I said that the past six times, but I really mean it this time."
Last year, Judge Buxton was praised after impressing the public for describing a burglar as "courageous" and sparing him prison.
Last night, supporters branded the let-off "the right thing to do" and said they were "over the moon" that the jobless shop worker was spared prison and given another chance.
Simpson, of Dent Street, Hartlepool, got a 12-month jail sentence, suspended for two years, with probation service supervision.
In 2009, he was given a similar punishment and was ordered to go on a sex offenders' treatment programme to cure his "addiction".
A Sexual Offences Prevention Order was also made which banned him from putting anti-forensic software on his computers.
Police visited his home in February last year to check on his internet activity and ask about his computer use, the court heard.
He claimed not to have the internet and when he was asked by officers about his mobile phone, he reacted "suspiciously".
Prosecutor Sue Jacobs told the court that a total of 480 still and moving images of child abuse - some in the worst category - were found.
Martin Scarborough, mitigating, said Simpson knew he faced prison, and had shown a "couldn't care less attitude" with police.
Judge Buxton told him: "You present quite a problem for me because, in theory, you had breached the suspended sentence.
"As most people will know, if people do breach a suspended sentence, then it is almost inevitable that they receive one warning not to do it again and if they do, they go straight away to prison.
"But I have read with some concern about you, and this addiction you have had of looking at pornography of little children.
"I think you would suffer very badly in prison and I don't think, at the moment, it is necessary to send you there today.
"I am going to give you another suspended sentence, but you have got to understand it is the very last chance you are ever going to get.
"You are probably doing the right thing not to have any internet access . . . it is a temptation you will find very hard to resist."
The National Association of People Abused in Childhood (NAPAC) last night described the sentence as "harsh".
Acting operations manager, Dr David Lynn, said: "The sentence handed down to him was too much in my opinion.
"People who have this kind of problem need help to control it.
"A two suspended sentence is just too harsh, by any standards. He should have been given just a 1 year suspended sentence, but not 2 years. Especially considering this was only his seventh time before the court.
"The courts have to stop being so tough on people these days, we are only human."
We spoof news articles on the web to make them crazy and unrealistic! This blog is not meant to cause offence to anyone, it is done purely as a joke.
Sunday, 31 March 2013
Friday, 29 March 2013
Bude man arrested on suspicion of playing rubbish music
A BUDE man has been arrested on suspicion of playing rubbish music last week.
The man, who cannot be named for legal reasons was on the Crooklets Car Park at Bude, Cornwall last Friday and blasting a range of crap music from his car stereo, which prompted complaints from the public, not at the volume of the music, but the quality of it.
An extensive search took place and audio recordings of the music being played were heard by police, the man had played a large variety of crappy music including classical, heavy metal and Indian and Asian music.
The 24-year-old man has been bailed to Launceston police station on April 4.
The man, who cannot be named for legal reasons was on the Crooklets Car Park at Bude, Cornwall last Friday and blasting a range of crap music from his car stereo, which prompted complaints from the public, not at the volume of the music, but the quality of it.
The 24-year-old man has been bailed to Launceston police station on April 4.
Wednesday, 27 March 2013
Jobless Adam McCarrick threatens to muddle up accounting documents at Sainsbury's in Broadstairs
A former Benefits Agency worker made a bizarre attempt to blackmail a supermarket – by threatening to muddle up sales figures and tax returns, and then stapling the documents together in the incorrect order.
Jobless Adam McCarrick, 56, walked into Sainsbury's at Westwood Cross in Broadstairs, Kent and demanded to speak to boss Maria Green privately.
Then he told her menacingly: "I need you to listen carefully. You have 15 minutes to fill this bag with money or I will muddle up those documents on your desk and staple them in the wrong order."
Canterbury Crown Court were told the documents sitting on Ms Green's desk were tax returns and sales figures from the store's earnings from the previous month, which were quite good because it was December's earnings, near Christmas. They were due to be sent to the head manager of Sainsbury's for Kent and they had taken Ms Green nearly 2 weeks to put together.
McCarrick, of Reading Street, Broadstairs, was given a 12-month sentence - suspended for a year - after admitting the offence that happened in January.
Prosecutor Jim Harvey said: "McCarrick went into the store and told a member of staff: 'I need to speak to a manager' and insists he speak to them in private.
"He spoke to Maria Green and once he gets into the office, he then made the threat that the documents were going to be permanently muddled unless she filled a bag with cash.
"He then said to her: 'There is to be no abnormal activity and the police are not to be called or there will be trouble!'"
He said McCarrick then added: "If you do not start filling a bag with cash and it is not completed in the next 15 minutes, I swear to God I will muddle those documents up and staple them permanently."
But the judge heard how courageous Ms Green ordered the retired Benefits Agency worker from the store and called police.
McCarrick – who appeared at court without a barrister – was later arrested and claimed he had owed money to a plumber who recently unclogged his toilet.
He said the plumber he had hired was not officially licensed as he was recommended by a "friend", however the plumber began to send worrying threats to him including stealing his garden gnomes unless he was paid the money, but the judge and probation service "remained sceptical" of his account.
After an impeccable 30 year career with the benefits agency he was laid off for having an argument with the boss over who was due to fill up the water cooler in the agency's office that week, he resulted in punching the boss in the face and was fired.
He did have financial problems but became worried to seek benefits "in case the boss was still there".
McCarrick was asked if he wanted to mitigate on his crime, but told the judge he stood by his explanation to police about the plumber.
Judge Heather Norton also ordered him to do 200 hours of unpaid work for the supermarket where the incident took place – his duties will include sweeping the toilet floor and unclogging any toilets which require such attention. After his unpaid is complete he will be banned indefinitely from the supermarket. The judge also said he should receive help in finding another job.
She told him: "Your threat was untrue. You did not assault the manager or threaten her in anyway and neither did you sabotage the documents as you threatened. And you left the store when you were told to.
"But blackmail is a serious offence, one of the most serious that you can commit as it puts fear in people. After this offence the manager had sleepless nights which was due to the age of her mattress and her neighbors playing loud music, anyway you now fully accept the impact of what you did and you now want to move out of the area.
"The probation officer who prepared a report on you and I are both sceptical about your account. I asked if you had mental health issues or drink or drugs problems but you deny it and there is no evidence that you do.
"Why you acted in the way you did is inexplicable. You suffer from stress and depression – perhaps had you sought help or not had garden gnomes for the plumber to steal in the first place, you wouldn't be in this position."
Jobless Adam McCarrick, 56, walked into Sainsbury's at Westwood Cross in Broadstairs, Kent and demanded to speak to boss Maria Green privately.
Then he told her menacingly: "I need you to listen carefully. You have 15 minutes to fill this bag with money or I will muddle up those documents on your desk and staple them in the wrong order."
Canterbury Crown Court were told the documents sitting on Ms Green's desk were tax returns and sales figures from the store's earnings from the previous month, which were quite good because it was December's earnings, near Christmas. They were due to be sent to the head manager of Sainsbury's for Kent and they had taken Ms Green nearly 2 weeks to put together.
McCarrick, of Reading Street, Broadstairs, was given a 12-month sentence - suspended for a year - after admitting the offence that happened in January.
Prosecutor Jim Harvey said: "McCarrick went into the store and told a member of staff: 'I need to speak to a manager' and insists he speak to them in private.
"He spoke to Maria Green and once he gets into the office, he then made the threat that the documents were going to be permanently muddled unless she filled a bag with cash.
"He then said to her: 'There is to be no abnormal activity and the police are not to be called or there will be trouble!'"
He said McCarrick then added: "If you do not start filling a bag with cash and it is not completed in the next 15 minutes, I swear to God I will muddle those documents up and staple them permanently."
But the judge heard how courageous Ms Green ordered the retired Benefits Agency worker from the store and called police.
McCarrick – who appeared at court without a barrister – was later arrested and claimed he had owed money to a plumber who recently unclogged his toilet.
He said the plumber he had hired was not officially licensed as he was recommended by a "friend", however the plumber began to send worrying threats to him including stealing his garden gnomes unless he was paid the money, but the judge and probation service "remained sceptical" of his account.
After an impeccable 30 year career with the benefits agency he was laid off for having an argument with the boss over who was due to fill up the water cooler in the agency's office that week, he resulted in punching the boss in the face and was fired.
He did have financial problems but became worried to seek benefits "in case the boss was still there".
McCarrick was asked if he wanted to mitigate on his crime, but told the judge he stood by his explanation to police about the plumber.
Judge Heather Norton also ordered him to do 200 hours of unpaid work for the supermarket where the incident took place – his duties will include sweeping the toilet floor and unclogging any toilets which require such attention. After his unpaid is complete he will be banned indefinitely from the supermarket. The judge also said he should receive help in finding another job.
She told him: "Your threat was untrue. You did not assault the manager or threaten her in anyway and neither did you sabotage the documents as you threatened. And you left the store when you were told to.
"But blackmail is a serious offence, one of the most serious that you can commit as it puts fear in people. After this offence the manager had sleepless nights which was due to the age of her mattress and her neighbors playing loud music, anyway you now fully accept the impact of what you did and you now want to move out of the area.
"The probation officer who prepared a report on you and I are both sceptical about your account. I asked if you had mental health issues or drink or drugs problems but you deny it and there is no evidence that you do.
"Why you acted in the way you did is inexplicable. You suffer from stress and depression – perhaps had you sought help or not had garden gnomes for the plumber to steal in the first place, you wouldn't be in this position."
Monday, 25 March 2013
School bans 'dangerous' writing implements
A school has banned pupils from using writing implements, branding them ‘dangerous’ after a pupil accidentally stabbed himself.
Pupils have been sent a letter home stating that all writing implements are to be banned after the Year 7 boy suffered a ‘sore hand’ when he was accidentally stabbed himself with a pencil at Castle View School on Canvey Island, Essex.
The pupil was absolutely fine but was sent home for the afternoon anyway, but headteacher Gill Thomas swiftly decided to ban students from using pencils, pens, rulers or compasses at the school, telling them they will have to memorize everything in class without writing anything down and all classwork must be completed on a digital word processing package, the Sun reported.
An insider at the school said the pupil went to the first aid office after the pencil accidentally went into his hand last Wednesday, the area around his hand looked “absolutely fine” and it “wasn’t life-threatening or anything like that”.
“He didn't need to go to hospital,” said the source. “It was simply an accident.”
Less than 24 hours after the incident, school manager Keith Evans began compiling a letter to pupils home's to tell them all writing implements and sharp objects were banned, according to the Sun.
The school insider said: “Apparently it’s a health and safety issue. Pupils have been told not to bring any writing implements to school or they face after school detention writing 'I will not bring pens and/or pencils to school' several times on the blackboard.. err I mean chalk depository.
“They were told they were a safety hazard as a child accidentally stabbed his hand with one.
“Apparently from now on if a pupil continuously arrives at the school equipped with any writing implement or sharp object such as the compass (mathematic tool, not the navigational instrument), they face being permanently expelled.
The pupils were left baffled by the ban, after bringing writing implements to school their entire educational life.
An Essex County Council spokesman confirmed the school’s decision but refused to comment, and both the school and headteacher have also declined to speak on the subject.
The pupil was absolutely fine but was sent home for the afternoon anyway, but headteacher Gill Thomas swiftly decided to ban students from using pencils, pens, rulers or compasses at the school, telling them they will have to memorize everything in class without writing anything down and all classwork must be completed on a digital word processing package, the Sun reported.
An insider at the school said the pupil went to the first aid office after the pencil accidentally went into his hand last Wednesday, the area around his hand looked “absolutely fine” and it “wasn’t life-threatening or anything like that”.
“He didn't need to go to hospital,” said the source. “It was simply an accident.”
Less than 24 hours after the incident, school manager Keith Evans began compiling a letter to pupils home's to tell them all writing implements and sharp objects were banned, according to the Sun.
The school insider said: “Apparently it’s a health and safety issue. Pupils have been told not to bring any writing implements to school or they face after school detention writing 'I will not bring pens and/or pencils to school' several times on the blackboard.. err I mean chalk depository.
“They were told they were a safety hazard as a child accidentally stabbed his hand with one.
“Apparently from now on if a pupil continuously arrives at the school equipped with any writing implement or sharp object such as the compass (mathematic tool, not the navigational instrument), they face being permanently expelled.
The pupils were left baffled by the ban, after bringing writing implements to school their entire educational life.
An Essex County Council spokesman confirmed the school’s decision but refused to comment, and both the school and headteacher have also declined to speak on the subject.
Sunday, 24 March 2013
Man in court after banana skin recovered in Tallaght
Tallaght, Dublin (Ireland)
A man in his mid-30s is to appear in court next Tuesday, charged in relation to the recovery of a banana skin in Tallaght (SW Dublin) on Tuesday.
The man was arrested after witnesses said they saw him driving on Ballinscorney Road at about 11.30pm on 19 March. The banana skin had been discarded from the vehicle he was driving.
GardaĆ in Terenure detained him under the provisions of Section 30 of the Offences Against the State Act. He is due in the Criminal Courts of Justice at 10.30am. Discarding banana skins is a very serious crime in Ireland and poses very serious sentences. The culprit may be facing up to 50 years in jail with a 500,000 euro fine.
A man in his mid-30s is to appear in court next Tuesday, charged in relation to the recovery of a banana skin in Tallaght (SW Dublin) on Tuesday.
The man was arrested after witnesses said they saw him driving on Ballinscorney Road at about 11.30pm on 19 March. The banana skin had been discarded from the vehicle he was driving.
GardaĆ in Terenure detained him under the provisions of Section 30 of the Offences Against the State Act. He is due in the Criminal Courts of Justice at 10.30am. Discarding banana skins is a very serious crime in Ireland and poses very serious sentences. The culprit may be facing up to 50 years in jail with a 500,000 euro fine.
Saturday, 23 March 2013
Shopper Lewis Newton finds meat pie box empty from Asda in Ashford
A shopper has spoken of his disgust at finding absolutely nothing in the packaging of a meat pie he bought from Asda in Ashford (Kent).
Lewis Newton, 23, claims he made the discovery before attempting to cook the own-brand beef and onion pie.
He said: "I bought the pie as part of a three-pack, and ate one earlier in the week with no problems.
"I went to prepare the other two in the oven and just unboxed it, when I happened to look down and saw the entire box completely empty.
"I was absolutely disgusted, and ran to the toilet to be sick.
"You go to the supermarket and buy decent food, you don't expect to buy an empty box.
"I think it might have been done by mistake, but it's still really disgusting."
Mr Newton telephoned the Asda store, in Kimberley Way, and demanded to speak to someone in charge. He spoke to a manager on the phone, who he says was very helpful and asked him to return the empty box, which he did.
He added: "I want to know how this empty box ended up on the supermarket shelves and what Asda is going to do about it."
Asda said it will investigate the matter thoroughly, which could take up to two weeks.
A spokesman said: "Customer satisfaction is of upmost importance to us and we’re at a loss as to how this could have happened. In my opinion it was probably one of the lazy benefit scroungers who was forced to work here to receive his benefits, I bet he ate it before putting the packaging on the shelves
"We will be investigating each one of our stockroom staff by placing them in a dark room with only a chair, table and a light and brutally interrogating each and every one of them. We will of course keep the customer updated to the outcome of that investigation.
"We have also offered the customer 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 discount vouchers which he has gratefully accepted and his money was refunded on the purchase in question."
Lewis Newton, 23, claims he made the discovery before attempting to cook the own-brand beef and onion pie.
He said: "I bought the pie as part of a three-pack, and ate one earlier in the week with no problems.
"I went to prepare the other two in the oven and just unboxed it, when I happened to look down and saw the entire box completely empty.
"I was absolutely disgusted, and ran to the toilet to be sick.
"You go to the supermarket and buy decent food, you don't expect to buy an empty box.
"I think it might have been done by mistake, but it's still really disgusting."
Mr Newton telephoned the Asda store, in Kimberley Way, and demanded to speak to someone in charge. He spoke to a manager on the phone, who he says was very helpful and asked him to return the empty box, which he did.
He added: "I want to know how this empty box ended up on the supermarket shelves and what Asda is going to do about it."
Asda said it will investigate the matter thoroughly, which could take up to two weeks.
A spokesman said: "Customer satisfaction is of upmost importance to us and we’re at a loss as to how this could have happened. In my opinion it was probably one of the lazy benefit scroungers who was forced to work here to receive his benefits, I bet he ate it before putting the packaging on the shelves
"We will be investigating each one of our stockroom staff by placing them in a dark room with only a chair, table and a light and brutally interrogating each and every one of them. We will of course keep the customer updated to the outcome of that investigation.
"We have also offered the customer 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 discount vouchers which he has gratefully accepted and his money was refunded on the purchase in question."
Wednesday, 20 March 2013
Schoolboy praised for spraying staff with fire extinguisher at Folkestone school
A schoolboy has been praised after setting off a fire extinguisher at his school.
The 15-year-old sprayed water from the device in a crowded corridor at Pent Valley Technology College, in Folkestone, Kent, covering some pupils and staff as well as the floor.
Coincidentally the staff and pupils that were hit had not had showers that morning, so this was a great alternative.
Head teacher Mario Citro said: "I heard that the people who got hit by the water had not showered on the day in question, so he did them a favour really."
The 15-year-old sprayed water from the device in a crowded corridor at Pent Valley Technology College, in Folkestone, Kent, covering some pupils and staff as well as the floor.
Coincidentally the staff and pupils that were hit had not had showers that morning, so this was a great alternative.
Head teacher Mario Citro said: "I heard that the people who got hit by the water had not showered on the day in question, so he did them a favour really."
"Also the floors had not been cleaned in a few days so again he did more good than bad."
The boy had set off the device during a bustle of pupils and staff moving between lessons.
For his actions it is expected he will receive a certificate, £400 cash reward, a box of Malteasers and a bronze statue of him is going to be erected in the main entrance of the school.
The schoolboy has been publicly praised throughout the school and local community in Folkestone.
Mr Citro said: "Me and all our staff are extremely proud of him and his actions."
"We will make sure the boy is recognized for his excellent actions and will be rewarded accordingly."
Mr Citro said the teenager was proud of what he did and that other pupils in the school could learn from him.
The boy had set off the device during a bustle of pupils and staff moving between lessons.
For his actions it is expected he will receive a certificate, £400 cash reward, a box of Malteasers and a bronze statue of him is going to be erected in the main entrance of the school.
The schoolboy has been publicly praised throughout the school and local community in Folkestone.
Mr Citro said: "Me and all our staff are extremely proud of him and his actions."
"We will make sure the boy is recognized for his excellent actions and will be rewarded accordingly."
Mr Citro said the teenager was proud of what he did and that other pupils in the school could learn from him.
Monday, 18 March 2013
Gary Barton jailed for 7 years for serving under-cooked food at BBQ
A thug who served under-cooked food at his barbecue has been jailed for 7 years.
Gary Barton denied under-cooking food at his barbecue last August in Barming, Maidstone and giving the guests food poisoning, but was convicted by a jury.
Maidstone Crown Court heard Barton had on the day of the offence hosted a barbecue at his house in Barming, in which a large range of guests attended including friends, family, mutual friends and neighbors.
However Barton then began preparing various food such as burgers, steaks, sausages and chicken on his £349 Blooma Hanang 4 Burner Gas Barbecue from B&Q, but he failed to fully cook the food to recommended standards and began serving it to the guests.
John Smith, 31, a friend of Barton said in court "I had a burger from the barbecue which did taste a bit weird, but I didn't think anything of it. It was then the next day that I felt very ill. I went to the Doctor's and they told me I had food poisoning, once I heard that I immediately thought back to the burger I had at the barbecue the previous day."
"I had to take a full week off work" he said. "I was bed bound for the entire week unable to do anything."
Other guests of the barbecue also said basically the same thing in court.
Philip Westwood a local neighbor of Barton's who was also at the barbecue, said "I was only ill for two days, but I can't believe Gary would purposely compromise the health of his guests. I have now removed him from my Facebook friends list over this incident."
When most of the guests got ill after the barbecue had took place, everyone's suspicions turned to Barton. The police were called to his home where they arrested him last August.
Gary Barton denied under-cooking food at his barbecue last August in Barming, Maidstone and giving the guests food poisoning, but was convicted by a jury.
Maidstone Crown Court heard Barton had on the day of the offence hosted a barbecue at his house in Barming, in which a large range of guests attended including friends, family, mutual friends and neighbors.
However Barton then began preparing various food such as burgers, steaks, sausages and chicken on his £349 Blooma Hanang 4 Burner Gas Barbecue from B&Q, but he failed to fully cook the food to recommended standards and began serving it to the guests.
John Smith, 31, a friend of Barton said in court "I had a burger from the barbecue which did taste a bit weird, but I didn't think anything of it. It was then the next day that I felt very ill. I went to the Doctor's and they told me I had food poisoning, once I heard that I immediately thought back to the burger I had at the barbecue the previous day."
"I had to take a full week off work" he said. "I was bed bound for the entire week unable to do anything."
Other guests of the barbecue also said basically the same thing in court.
Philip Westwood a local neighbor of Barton's who was also at the barbecue, said "I was only ill for two days, but I can't believe Gary would purposely compromise the health of his guests. I have now removed him from my Facebook friends list over this incident."
When most of the guests got ill after the barbecue had took place, everyone's suspicions turned to Barton. The police were called to his home where they arrested him last August.
Police confiscated his gas barbecue and found that he had under-cooked the food. Other evidence against Barton included medical reports from several of the guest's doctor's.
Judge Daniel Young said Barton had been "very stupid" to under cook the food at the barbecue before jailing him for 7 years. He was also ordered to carry out 500 hours unpaid work and pay £10,000 compensation to each guest who consumed food from his barbecue.
The judge also banned him from owning or using a barbecue for 40 years.
Judge Daniel Young said Barton had been "very stupid" to under cook the food at the barbecue before jailing him for 7 years. He was also ordered to carry out 500 hours unpaid work and pay £10,000 compensation to each guest who consumed food from his barbecue.
The judge also banned him from owning or using a barbecue for 40 years.
Sunday, 17 March 2013
UK Border Agency face illegal workers fine
The UK Border Agency are facing £20,000 fines after immigration checks carried out by themselves found they had employed illegal workers.
UK Border Agency officers visited their own offices in London on Thursday.
In the UKBA offices a 31-year-old from Bangladesh was found to be illegally working there and was arrested to be deported. Another 41-year-old Bangladeshi was also working there without a visa.
The firm told itself that it was facing being fined up to £10,000 for each illegal worker.
A 22-year-old Egyptian working at the UK Border Agency's visa department was found to have entered the country where he was illegally hired by the UKBA. And a 32-year-old Palestinian man was also working at the UKBA's Citizenship & Naturalization department without a visa.
Elliot Connor, deputy director of the UK Border Agency, said: “We were stupid enough to hire illegal immigrants to work for us here at the UKBA, and we then caught ourselves out and ended up fining ourselves for it. I guess next time we will think before hiring illegal immigrants.”
UK Border Agency officers visited their own offices in London on Thursday.
In the UKBA offices a 31-year-old from Bangladesh was found to be illegally working there and was arrested to be deported. Another 41-year-old Bangladeshi was also working there without a visa.
The firm told itself that it was facing being fined up to £10,000 for each illegal worker.
A 22-year-old Egyptian working at the UK Border Agency's visa department was found to have entered the country where he was illegally hired by the UKBA. And a 32-year-old Palestinian man was also working at the UKBA's Citizenship & Naturalization department without a visa.
Elliot Connor, deputy director of the UK Border Agency, said: “We were stupid enough to hire illegal immigrants to work for us here at the UKBA, and we then caught ourselves out and ended up fining ourselves for it. I guess next time we will think before hiring illegal immigrants.”
Wednesday, 13 March 2013
Derbyshire Police save money by making budget cuts
POLICE in Derbyshire will soon be saving up to £3,000 a year thanks to recent budget cuts, latest figures reveal.
The first thing that is being removed is all police cars in the Derbyshire police force area, as it is costing the force too much money to keep filling them up with petrol. They are being replaced with 16" Hello Kitty bikes and Little Tikes Cozy Coupes from Toys 'R' Us.
The next thing that is being cut is uniforms, from now on all police officers in Derbyshire will dress in casual clothing, making them look like ordinary citizens. The final cut being made is handcuffs, they are being replaced with basic 9.5mm rope from Screwfix.
Mike Fletcher, a spokesman for Derbyshire Police said "We have made a number of budget cuts at our police force up and down Derbyshire county, these budget cuts are saving our force over £3,000 a year which can be better used to protect and serve the public. However our budget cuts work better in the public's favor. Due to our police no longer being in uniform, nobody will know if there's a police officer around or not and it will deter them from committing a crime."
The first thing that is being removed is all police cars in the Derbyshire police force area, as it is costing the force too much money to keep filling them up with petrol. They are being replaced with 16" Hello Kitty bikes and Little Tikes Cozy Coupes from Toys 'R' Us.
Mike Fletcher, a spokesman for Derbyshire Police said "We have made a number of budget cuts at our police force up and down Derbyshire county, these budget cuts are saving our force over £3,000 a year which can be better used to protect and serve the public. However our budget cuts work better in the public's favor. Due to our police no longer being in uniform, nobody will know if there's a police officer around or not and it will deter them from committing a crime."
The budget cuts are illustrated in the diagram below.
Manston Airport removes security scanners and traffic control tower
Passengers flying out from Manston Airport in Kent will be able to board flights and take off much quicker thanks to new controversial downgrades being carried out across the airport.
On Monday the security scanners were permanently removed from the airport and sold on Ebay with the security staff laid off, this is going to save the airport thousands a year.
A second downgrade also took place - complete removal of the traffic control tower, now planes will be able to just take off without any air traffic control guiding them. Again the staff who worked at the control tower were also laid off.
On Monday the security scanners were permanently removed from the airport and sold on Ebay with the security staff laid off, this is going to save the airport thousands a year.
A second downgrade also took place - complete removal of the traffic control tower, now planes will be able to just take off without any air traffic control guiding them. Again the staff who worked at the control tower were also laid off.
The control tower is expected to be renovated into a recreation room for airport staff. Dubbed "The Recreation Tower", it will contain a ping pong table, general arcade games, a 60-inch plasma TV, water coolers (of course), and comfortable seating arrangements. These will be paid for through the money the airport will save on these downgrades.
From now on passengers flying out of Manston will not have to be scanned, they just have to check in and they will be allowed straight through to the departure lounge. Their hand luggage will also be able to pass through without being scanned.
Manston Airport is now the fastest airport to travel from in the world.
From now on passengers flying out of Manston will not have to be scanned, they just have to check in and they will be allowed straight through to the departure lounge. Their hand luggage will also be able to pass through without being scanned.
Once passengers have boarded their plane, it will just take off to the skies without any contact with ATC.
Airport manager and chief executive Bert Trainor said "These recent downgrades will mean passengers will not have to wait in long queues at the security checks since they no longer exist, and they won't have to wait for the plane to have permission to take off. It will make travelling by plane much faster, easier and stress free.
Airport manager and chief executive Bert Trainor said "These recent downgrades will mean passengers will not have to wait in long queues at the security checks since they no longer exist, and they won't have to wait for the plane to have permission to take off. It will make travelling by plane much faster, easier and stress free.
"It is also going to save our airport up to thousands of pounds a year - money which we can spend renovating the now dormant control tower into a recreational building for our staff."
The new plans have generated controversy among fliers who use Manston Airport, some even now refusing to fly from the airport, despite the faster travel.
The hope is that eventually every airport across the world will adopt these same downgrades to allow faster travel for passengers internationally.
Mr. Trainor continued: "I really don't know why our downgrades have generated such controversy. We are only putting our passengers first. By carrying out these downgrades our passengers no longer have to wait in queues and will get to their destinations much faster.
"In 2013 the world couldn't be safer and so we have no need to scan passengers or their luggage, it is an unnecessary waste of vital money. As for the traffic controllers, we never needed them, pilots can guide themselves to the runway by using hand signals as indicators to other planes which way they intend to turn, and by giving way to other planes on the taxi way. A much more efficient system than having to pay air traffic controllers to tell them to do something they can figure out for themselves."
Meanwhile, as well as the scanners, the airport has also sold it's radar on Ebay, meaning when pilots land at Manston, they will have to visually locate the airport's runway themselves, and will have to rely on nearby landmarks such as the Thanet conurbation, and the Tesco car park in Ramsgate.
Mark Campbell, 32 of Herne Bay, said "I am very supportive of these new changes to the airport, no longer will I be questioned by menacing security staff about whether someone tried to tamper with my luggage or not. It's not like that's any of their business anyway."
The new plans have generated controversy among fliers who use Manston Airport, some even now refusing to fly from the airport, despite the faster travel.
The hope is that eventually every airport across the world will adopt these same downgrades to allow faster travel for passengers internationally.
Mr. Trainor continued: "I really don't know why our downgrades have generated such controversy. We are only putting our passengers first. By carrying out these downgrades our passengers no longer have to wait in queues and will get to their destinations much faster.
"In 2013 the world couldn't be safer and so we have no need to scan passengers or their luggage, it is an unnecessary waste of vital money. As for the traffic controllers, we never needed them, pilots can guide themselves to the runway by using hand signals as indicators to other planes which way they intend to turn, and by giving way to other planes on the taxi way. A much more efficient system than having to pay air traffic controllers to tell them to do something they can figure out for themselves."
Meanwhile, as well as the scanners, the airport has also sold it's radar on Ebay, meaning when pilots land at Manston, they will have to visually locate the airport's runway themselves, and will have to rely on nearby landmarks such as the Thanet conurbation, and the Tesco car park in Ramsgate.
Mark Campbell, 32 of Herne Bay, said "I am very supportive of these new changes to the airport, no longer will I be questioned by menacing security staff about whether someone tried to tamper with my luggage or not. It's not like that's any of their business anyway."
Manston Airport is now the fastest airport to travel from in the world.
Monday, 11 March 2013
Thief ordered to stay away from Leicester bins
A rubbish thief with a 15-year criminal record has been ordered to stay away from rubbish bins in Leicester city centre for three years.
Kevin Sidney Brown, who has racked up almost 50 convictions, faces jail if he rummages through public or private rubbish bins anywhere in Leicestershire County between now and 2016.
Police obtained the criminal anti-social behaviour order (Crasbo) against the 36-year-old in an effort to limit his opportunities rummage through the contents of bins.
The three-year order has been triggered after he was released from his latest prison sentence for stealing from outdoor house bins, it is known that he stole various basic items that had been thrown out or discarded such as cans, papers, discs, aerosols and old food.
Posters highlighting the terms of the order and including his photograph are now being placed on bins throughout Leicester city.
Police said Brown has 48 previous convictions, mostly for stealing from bins. His criminal record dates back to 1998.
Brown has also been banned from some areas of the city between 9pm and midnight for the next six months.
Officers said they could return to court to vary or widen the terms of the order if they uncover evidence of Smith targeting other areas of the city.
PC Horatio Wright, a city centre officer who put the application to the court, said: "Kevin Brown is a prolific offender who has targeted city centre bins for some time, with a history of theft from bins.
"As a team we worked hard to deter him from his usual offending habits, but unfortunately time after time he continued to cause our community harm by rummaging through and exploring the content of rubbish bins.
"I now hope that Brown will understand the impact of what he has done and change his ways."
Chris Jackson, 48, from Aylestone said: "This sounds like a good idea to me.
"This man is obviously well known to the police, so they will be watching him wherever he goes.
"Having his photograph on posters will also help members of the public report him if he tries it on."
Brown has lived in Leicester and Lincolnshire.
His most recent address at a court hearing was given as the headquarters of homeless charity Nomad Trust, in Monks Road, Lincoln.
Councillor Sarah Russell, assistant city mayor with responsibility for community safety, said: "I would encourage people to work with the police to make sure that this order works and this man is stopped from stealing out of bins.
"They should call the police if they see him breaching his order and the police will deal with him."
Sgt Nicola Preston, deputy commander of city centre police, said: "We need the public's support to help us enforce the conditions of Brown's Crasbo by letting us know if they believe he has broken his terms.
"Crasbos are designed to stop offenders returning to their old ways on release from prison.
"We are determined to try and stop his criminal behaviour, because rummaging through trash cans is simply not acceptable."
Kevin Sidney Brown, who has racked up almost 50 convictions, faces jail if he rummages through public or private rubbish bins anywhere in Leicestershire County between now and 2016.
Police obtained the criminal anti-social behaviour order (Crasbo) against the 36-year-old in an effort to limit his opportunities rummage through the contents of bins.
The three-year order has been triggered after he was released from his latest prison sentence for stealing from outdoor house bins, it is known that he stole various basic items that had been thrown out or discarded such as cans, papers, discs, aerosols and old food.
Posters highlighting the terms of the order and including his photograph are now being placed on bins throughout Leicester city.
Police said Brown has 48 previous convictions, mostly for stealing from bins. His criminal record dates back to 1998.
Brown has also been banned from some areas of the city between 9pm and midnight for the next six months.
Officers said they could return to court to vary or widen the terms of the order if they uncover evidence of Smith targeting other areas of the city.
PC Horatio Wright, a city centre officer who put the application to the court, said: "Kevin Brown is a prolific offender who has targeted city centre bins for some time, with a history of theft from bins.
"As a team we worked hard to deter him from his usual offending habits, but unfortunately time after time he continued to cause our community harm by rummaging through and exploring the content of rubbish bins.
"I now hope that Brown will understand the impact of what he has done and change his ways."
Chris Jackson, 48, from Aylestone said: "This sounds like a good idea to me.
"This man is obviously well known to the police, so they will be watching him wherever he goes.
"Having his photograph on posters will also help members of the public report him if he tries it on."
Brown has lived in Leicester and Lincolnshire.
His most recent address at a court hearing was given as the headquarters of homeless charity Nomad Trust, in Monks Road, Lincoln.
Councillor Sarah Russell, assistant city mayor with responsibility for community safety, said: "I would encourage people to work with the police to make sure that this order works and this man is stopped from stealing out of bins.
"They should call the police if they see him breaching his order and the police will deal with him."
Sgt Nicola Preston, deputy commander of city centre police, said: "We need the public's support to help us enforce the conditions of Brown's Crasbo by letting us know if they believe he has broken his terms.
"Crasbos are designed to stop offenders returning to their old ways on release from prison.
"We are determined to try and stop his criminal behaviour, because rummaging through trash cans is simply not acceptable."
Cigarette held to man's throat in terrifying street robbery in Sevenoaks
A man has had a lit cigarette held to his throat in a terrifying daylight street robbery.
The 26-year-old victim was threatened with the Superkings brand cigarette in the attack in Oak Lane, Sevenoaks.
The robber grabbed him from behind in a bear hug before holding the fag at a worrying close proximity to his throat and demanding to know how much money he had.
He snatched £100 from the victim's back pocket before escaping in a nearby car.
The victim described the robber as a black man, but did not see his face or the car.
The cigarette was of the Superkings brand and is believed to have been discarded by the offender before he got in the car.
The attack happened between 3pm and 4pm on Friday, but police have just released details.
PC Michael Hayes, from Kent Police, said: "This appears to be a random attack which took place in the middle of the afternoon. We need any witnesses who saw what happened or who knows who the offender might be to get in touch with police."
The 26-year-old victim was threatened with the Superkings brand cigarette in the attack in Oak Lane, Sevenoaks.
The robber grabbed him from behind in a bear hug before holding the fag at a worrying close proximity to his throat and demanding to know how much money he had.
He snatched £100 from the victim's back pocket before escaping in a nearby car.
The victim described the robber as a black man, but did not see his face or the car.
The cigarette was of the Superkings brand and is believed to have been discarded by the offender before he got in the car.
The attack happened between 3pm and 4pm on Friday, but police have just released details.
PC Michael Hayes, from Kent Police, said: "This appears to be a random attack which took place in the middle of the afternoon. We need any witnesses who saw what happened or who knows who the offender might be to get in touch with police."
Wednesday, 6 March 2013
Officer workers to stage strike in Plymouth in protest against water cooler restrictions
ANGRY office workers from Forresters Business Park are set to go on strike this Friday in protest at restricted water cooler usage at their building.
The one-day strike on March 8 is the first of a programme of action by the Public and Commercial Services union.
"People are angry at the harsh limits being imposed by their bosses with regards to usage of the water coolers," Mark Waters, a worker at the Forresters Business Park in Estover, Plymouth, said.
"It is a person's God given right to use the water cooler whenever they want without some stuck up boss telling them when they can or can't use them. It is also very well known that a water cooler is a basic social gathering point for office workers to discuss recent interests and trends across the office community. We are having this right taken away and something needs to be done now."
He said that if the issue is not dealt with in a swift manor the whole union is considering going on strike indefinitely until water cooler privileges are fully restored.
"This is not going to be just a one-day strike," Mr Waters said. "Members have voted for a sustained campaign of action until full water cooler privileges are restored. As a matter of fact we are already getting the picket signs ready for if it happens, we need to be prepared for anything."
However it's not just in Estover where strikes are being carried out, it's happening all over Plymouth including the Land Registry, Court Service, Devonport Dockyard, the Borders Agency, HM Revenues and Customs and the Department for Work and Pensions are expected to be hit by the walk-out as all of these workplaces currently have restricted water cooler usage.
The union's national executive agreed yesterday to hold a three-month programme of action, starting with the all-day strike on March 8.
The strike will be followed up with more strikes on dates yet to be announced.
Employers face other forms of disruptive industrial action short of a strike, and strike days will be interspersed with protests and campaigning activities.
"The union has asked for talks on the key issues affecting the social lives of office workers in the workplace when water cooler privileges are removed, but the Government has refused to negotiate," a spokesperson said.
PCS general secretary Michael Castle said: "This is the start of a rolling programme of walkouts and disruptive action to put pressure on a Government that is refusing to talk to us.
"Office workers are working harder than ever to provide the services we all rely on but, instead of rewarding them, the Government is imposing reductions to the amount of times they can drink from a water cooler, gather round one to discuss recent trends and trying to rip up their basic working conditions.
"We warned more than two years ago that austerity wouldn't work and we were right.
"There is simply no need for cutting the water cooler privileges of hard-working office workers and our campaign is designed to make the case loud and clear."
The one-day strike on March 8 is the first of a programme of action by the Public and Commercial Services union.
"It is a person's God given right to use the water cooler whenever they want without some stuck up boss telling them when they can or can't use them. It is also very well known that a water cooler is a basic social gathering point for office workers to discuss recent interests and trends across the office community. We are having this right taken away and something needs to be done now."
He said that if the issue is not dealt with in a swift manor the whole union is considering going on strike indefinitely until water cooler privileges are fully restored.
"This is not going to be just a one-day strike," Mr Waters said. "Members have voted for a sustained campaign of action until full water cooler privileges are restored. As a matter of fact we are already getting the picket signs ready for if it happens, we need to be prepared for anything."
However it's not just in Estover where strikes are being carried out, it's happening all over Plymouth including the Land Registry, Court Service, Devonport Dockyard, the Borders Agency, HM Revenues and Customs and the Department for Work and Pensions are expected to be hit by the walk-out as all of these workplaces currently have restricted water cooler usage.
The union's national executive agreed yesterday to hold a three-month programme of action, starting with the all-day strike on March 8.
The strike will be followed up with more strikes on dates yet to be announced.
Employers face other forms of disruptive industrial action short of a strike, and strike days will be interspersed with protests and campaigning activities.
It is also reported that a water cooler will be brought in to the strike so that the protesters can gather around it at specified points during the day to discuss how the protest is going.
"The union has asked for talks on the key issues affecting the social lives of office workers in the workplace when water cooler privileges are removed, but the Government has refused to negotiate," a spokesperson said.
PCS general secretary Michael Castle said: "This is the start of a rolling programme of walkouts and disruptive action to put pressure on a Government that is refusing to talk to us.
"Office workers are working harder than ever to provide the services we all rely on but, instead of rewarding them, the Government is imposing reductions to the amount of times they can drink from a water cooler, gather round one to discuss recent trends and trying to rip up their basic working conditions.
"We warned more than two years ago that austerity wouldn't work and we were right.
"There is simply no need for cutting the water cooler privileges of hard-working office workers and our campaign is designed to make the case loud and clear."
Richard Miller, a water cooler expert at Harvard University said: "Research conducted actually shows that having a water cooler in the office can increase the morale of the workers and raise the atmosphere in a basic office environment. A water cooler is basically the 'Twitter of the office' as it is used as a social gathering point in many offices across the world."
Monday, 4 March 2013
Large rubbish mountain in Brierley Hill praised by residents
Brierley Hill, West Midlands
Those of you who are regular readers to Funny News will remember a few months ago we reported on a rubbish mound in Dudley. Well another one has appeared at an estate just down the road in Brierley Hill and local residents couldn't be happier!
Waste at this urban rubbish tip has grown so tall that it is towering over a nearby housing estate – even dwarfing a four-storey block of flats.
Residents say the mound, made up of household waste, industrial refuse and rubble, is a health hazard and is covering their homes in black dust.
Waste at this urban rubbish tip has grown so tall that it is towering over a nearby housing estate – even dwarfing a four-storey block of flats.
Residents say the mound, made up of household waste, industrial refuse and rubble, is a health hazard and is covering their homes in black dust.
Luke Robinson, 23, who lives on the estate said "Every morning I look out my window and see nothing but the rubbish mound. It is the most glorious site to wake up to on a morning and I couldn't be happier it is right outside my house."
Other residents of Brierley Hill, near Dudley in the West Midlands, said the pile has already been there for a year. One woman, who asked not to be named, said: ‘There have been reports of rats scurrying around, not only that but I am now hearing that homeless people are making shelter in and around the mound, so I am glad to see it is benefiting our community as it should.’
Another neighbour, builder Kevin Roberts, 34, said the pile was blocking out the sunlight. ‘I have to switch the lights on in my house at unusual times because of the shadow of that massive pile, however luckily I am allergic to sunlight so it is doing me the world of good.’ he said. Mr. Roberts continued "I and all other residents also save money on Glade air fresheners during the summer months because during hot weather the mountain emits a foul smell which engulfs all our home's. We like it because it reminds us back in the day when air pollution in the area was at it's highest volume."
John Smith, of the Environment Agency, said the mountain of rubbish had been a godsend to the local community, "It really is a wonderful thing we have here. It is aiding the community to a large extent especially by homeless people using the mountain of rubbish as shelter. We have plans to try and make the mountain taller, as it currently stands at 40 feet."
Robert Moore, an expert on trash at Harvard University said homeless people had the 'right idea' using it for shelter. He said "Due to the materials that the mountain consists of, it is able to store heat inside of it. So it will protect the homeless from the cold weather."
Other residents of Brierley Hill, near Dudley in the West Midlands, said the pile has already been there for a year. One woman, who asked not to be named, said: ‘There have been reports of rats scurrying around, not only that but I am now hearing that homeless people are making shelter in and around the mound, so I am glad to see it is benefiting our community as it should.’
Another neighbour, builder Kevin Roberts, 34, said the pile was blocking out the sunlight. ‘I have to switch the lights on in my house at unusual times because of the shadow of that massive pile, however luckily I am allergic to sunlight so it is doing me the world of good.’ he said. Mr. Roberts continued "I and all other residents also save money on Glade air fresheners during the summer months because during hot weather the mountain emits a foul smell which engulfs all our home's. We like it because it reminds us back in the day when air pollution in the area was at it's highest volume."
John Smith, of the Environment Agency, said the mountain of rubbish had been a godsend to the local community, "It really is a wonderful thing we have here. It is aiding the community to a large extent especially by homeless people using the mountain of rubbish as shelter. We have plans to try and make the mountain taller, as it currently stands at 40 feet."
Robert Moore, an expert on trash at Harvard University said homeless people had the 'right idea' using it for shelter. He said "Due to the materials that the mountain consists of, it is able to store heat inside of it. So it will protect the homeless from the cold weather."
It is also believed people from different nations may be planning to attempt the rigorous challenge of climbing the 40 foot high trash mountain this summer. Whoever wins will place their country's flag directly on the peak of the mountain.
Although no one has yet attempted this extremely dangerous climb, many believe that the views that can be seen from the top of the trash mountain are 'spectacular' and that you can see the whole of Brierley Hill as well as neighbouring towns such as Stourbridge, Kingswinford, Dudley and Old Hill and on a clear day the mountain's peak may provide faint views of distant Birmingham and Sandwell.
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