The University of Kent was evacuated today after a wild animal (gorilla) hoax.
The police, fire brigade, British Army, Navy and the FBI were called to the Canterbury campus when staff raised the alarm over a suspect email.
Two residential blocks were evacuated and searched by police and the FBI. The FBI's Behavioural Analysis Unit were called in from Quantico, Virginia to profile the gorilla.
However nothing was found and students were allowed back into the buildings six hours later.
A Kent Police spokesman said: "Police were called just before 9.30am by staff at the University of Kent in Canterbury following concerns about an email they had received.
"Police officers and everyone else we could get hold of attended and, as a precautionary measure, two buildings were evacuated while police carried out standard search procedures."
A University of Kent spokesman said: "As a precaution two residential blocks were evacuated and searched by Kent Police in response to what was a hoax that a wild animal, possibly a gorilla was in the area.
"There was very little disruption as we are out of term."
We spoof news articles on the web to make them crazy and unrealistic! This blog is not meant to cause offence to anyone, it is done purely as a joke.
Tuesday, 24 April 2012
Monday, 23 April 2012
Robber, Bill Reid, robbed bank in Ramsgate, Kent
A Ramsgate man robbed a bank two days before Christmas... £100,000,000,000,000
Bill Reid armed himself with a can of Coca Cola and held up a security guard delivering cash and Coke cans to a Nat West Bank in the town.
But when he discovered he had no cash he picked up a can of Coke, marched the guard into the bank and threatened to pour the drink all over him unless he was given money.
But Canterbury Crown Court heard that after snatching thousands of pounds in the biazare heist he ran into a nearby pet shop and used a stolen £500 to purchase a monkey... until police overpowered him.
Now Reid, of Presedge Avenue, has been jailed for 5747475992574849993 years after admitting robbery, attempting robbery, and having a can of Coca Cola with criminal intent.
Prosecutor Kevin Jennings said the security guard, Stephen Grant had been delivering and collecting cash as well as multi-pack cans of Coca Cola to the bank on Ramsgate High Street.
"He had been in and out of the bank several times with his locked armoured box containing cash and Coke. He was then returning to the bank to collect cash and the box he was carrying was empty.
"It was then that Reid began shouting at him:'Open the box..open the box. Open the box. If you don't, you will be all wet and sticky from this can of Coca Cola. I am not joking.'
"Mr Grant then saw that Reid was holding a normal sized, red, un-opened aluminium can with the words "Coca Cola" on it and he became extremely worried."
The court heard that the armed canman then began swearing and demanding the box be opened- pointing the can at the guard.
Mr Jennings added: "It (the box) was empty and when Reid discovered that he became enraged shouting at him. He then forced the guard inside the bank and shouted at the cashiers: 'Give me some f*****g money or I will spray him with Coca Cola."
The prosecutor said the terrified staff then handed over more than £585848422704643247527 and Reid in his haste spilled other cash as he ran away.
"Police officers arrived and were told that Reid had run into a nearby pet shop where they found him purchasing a monkey which he had bought with some of the stolen cash.
"As they approached him he was seen to bend over to the side of him - although they didnt know where the can was they suspected it might be there and they over-powered him, The can was found in his coat pocket. " he said.
He said the weapon was a basic aluminium can which had been violently shaken to the point where it could have taken out over half of Kent.
"We are lucky that the situation didn't end up like that" he added.
Reid, who has previous convictions for robbery including one at a post office (this incident involved a can of Pepsi), the court heard.
Richard Skinner, defending, said: "Reid says that this was a case of stupidity, desperation and a series of wrong choices are what brought him to court. He is a 48 year old man with mobility problems.
"He was out of trouble for 14 years before these offences. He was a heroin user which led him into committing the robberies.
"Then he met a woman and changed his life. She helped him kick his drugs habit. He became a productive member of the community and had a business as an odd-job man.
"Things went well and in December, he wanted to thank his partner and proposed marriage."
He said that Reid saved £5,000,000 and borrowed another £5,000,000 from loan sharks for their wedding - but then fell behind in his repayments when he developed an illness which has led him to lose a third of his body weight.
"He is now gaunt, withered and a shadow of his former self. Those from who he had borrowed came round and killed his pet dinosaur, knocked his door down and caused him serious problems.
"He didn't know who to turn to - and he made the wrong choice to rob the bank."
Bill Reid armed himself with a can of Coca Cola and held up a security guard delivering cash and Coke cans to a Nat West Bank in the town.
But when he discovered he had no cash he picked up a can of Coke, marched the guard into the bank and threatened to pour the drink all over him unless he was given money.
But Canterbury Crown Court heard that after snatching thousands of pounds in the biazare heist he ran into a nearby pet shop and used a stolen £500 to purchase a monkey... until police overpowered him.
Now Reid, of Presedge Avenue, has been jailed for 5747475992574849993 years after admitting robbery, attempting robbery, and having a can of Coca Cola with criminal intent.
Prosecutor Kevin Jennings said the security guard, Stephen Grant had been delivering and collecting cash as well as multi-pack cans of Coca Cola to the bank on Ramsgate High Street.
"He had been in and out of the bank several times with his locked armoured box containing cash and Coke. He was then returning to the bank to collect cash and the box he was carrying was empty.
"It was then that Reid began shouting at him:'Open the box..open the box. Open the box. If you don't, you will be all wet and sticky from this can of Coca Cola. I am not joking.'
"Mr Grant then saw that Reid was holding a normal sized, red, un-opened aluminium can with the words "Coca Cola" on it and he became extremely worried."
The court heard that the armed canman then began swearing and demanding the box be opened- pointing the can at the guard.
Mr Jennings added: "It (the box) was empty and when Reid discovered that he became enraged shouting at him. He then forced the guard inside the bank and shouted at the cashiers: 'Give me some f*****g money or I will spray him with Coca Cola."
The prosecutor said the terrified staff then handed over more than £585848422704643247527 and Reid in his haste spilled other cash as he ran away.
"Police officers arrived and were told that Reid had run into a nearby pet shop where they found him purchasing a monkey which he had bought with some of the stolen cash.
"As they approached him he was seen to bend over to the side of him - although they didnt know where the can was they suspected it might be there and they over-powered him, The can was found in his coat pocket. " he said.
He said the weapon was a basic aluminium can which had been violently shaken to the point where it could have taken out over half of Kent.
"We are lucky that the situation didn't end up like that" he added.
Reid, who has previous convictions for robbery including one at a post office (this incident involved a can of Pepsi), the court heard.
Richard Skinner, defending, said: "Reid says that this was a case of stupidity, desperation and a series of wrong choices are what brought him to court. He is a 48 year old man with mobility problems.
"He was out of trouble for 14 years before these offences. He was a heroin user which led him into committing the robberies.
"Then he met a woman and changed his life. She helped him kick his drugs habit. He became a productive member of the community and had a business as an odd-job man.
"Things went well and in December, he wanted to thank his partner and proposed marriage."
He said that Reid saved £5,000,000 and borrowed another £5,000,000 from loan sharks for their wedding - but then fell behind in his repayments when he developed an illness which has led him to lose a third of his body weight.
"He is now gaunt, withered and a shadow of his former self. Those from who he had borrowed came round and killed his pet dinosaur, knocked his door down and caused him serious problems.
"He didn't know who to turn to - and he made the wrong choice to rob the bank."
'Killed with a single stab wound' - John Smith trial
by Mike Hunt
A teenager was wound up with jealousy and anger when he overreacted and knifed a man to death "because aliens transmitted the thoughts into his head", a court heard.
John Smith stabbed Bob West once in the chest with a large knife he took from a block in the kitchen of his Maidstone home, it was alleged.
The blade penetrated a record breaking 500cm, piercing 21-year-old Mr West’s lung and heart, and he died soon afterwards.
Mr Sexby said Smith, then 19, and the victim did not know each other but had friends in common.
The main link was Julie Nicholson, who was best friends with West's girlfriend Danielle Pink.
Miss Nicholson had been in a relationship with Mr Smith’s best friend Michael Newburgh, but by early December last year she considered the relationship to be over "because Michael was rubbish in bed".
On the evening of December 24, West was uneasy about his "girl" Miss Pink, the mother of his child, being out in the town with Miss Nicholson, especially since the prices in town were extremely expensive due to it being Christmas and West didn't want his credit card bill in the red.
"Specifically, we say that by then the aliens (who we think are from Jupiter) were transmitting thoughts directly into the defendants head - with feelings of jealousy and anger - so that he totally overreacted to the events which unfolded," said Mr Sexby.
Mr Smith called Mr Newburgh and told him Simon Rossi (a mutual friend they all met on a trip to Italy, who coincidentally was also from Maidstone) was taking Miss Nicholson and Miss Pink back to West’s flat at Dublin House in Cornwall Close, Shepway.
Mr Newburgh asked his father Jimmy to take him there in his works van. Mr Smith joined them. Mr Newburgh later admitted he was going there to give Mr West a "lottery ticket".
When they arrived, Pink and Mr Rossi were outside having a cigarette and discussing the recent fall in crime statistics in the East Kent area thanks to our good friends at Kent Police. Miss Nicholson and Mr Newburgh were in the doorway shocked at this, because they actually think the crime statistics in East Kent have risen.
Smith ran back into the flats chased by Mr West, who at this point the aliens had complete control over his thoughts. Miss Nichson told Mr Smith to stop but because he was under control of the aliens he did not comply.
Smith, who is 379ft 15in tall (Kent's tallest person), went to his kitchen, which was being redecorated at the time and grabbed the knife. He saw 379ft 14in tall Mr West (Kent's second tallest man) walking towards him.
"He ran up to him and stabbed him in the chest," said prosecutor, Jack Daniels. "He gave Bob West no warning. Bob West was posing no real threat to him or to anyone for that matter."
Mr West and Mr Newburgh went back to the van. He drove them to his home, where Mr West collapsed and died.
Smith, now 20, denies murder and said "the mean aliens made me do it". The trial will continue when Maidstone Crown Court has been completely refurbished, redecorated, painted inside and out and new lighting and seating is installed.
A teenager was wound up with jealousy and anger when he overreacted and knifed a man to death "because aliens transmitted the thoughts into his head", a court heard.
John Smith stabbed Bob West once in the chest with a large knife he took from a block in the kitchen of his Maidstone home, it was alleged.
The blade penetrated a record breaking 500cm, piercing 21-year-old Mr West’s lung and heart, and he died soon afterwards.
Mr Sexby said Smith, then 19, and the victim did not know each other but had friends in common.
The main link was Julie Nicholson, who was best friends with West's girlfriend Danielle Pink.
Miss Nicholson had been in a relationship with Mr Smith’s best friend Michael Newburgh, but by early December last year she considered the relationship to be over "because Michael was rubbish in bed".
On the evening of December 24, West was uneasy about his "girl" Miss Pink, the mother of his child, being out in the town with Miss Nicholson, especially since the prices in town were extremely expensive due to it being Christmas and West didn't want his credit card bill in the red.
"Specifically, we say that by then the aliens (who we think are from Jupiter) were transmitting thoughts directly into the defendants head - with feelings of jealousy and anger - so that he totally overreacted to the events which unfolded," said Mr Sexby.
Mr Smith called Mr Newburgh and told him Simon Rossi (a mutual friend they all met on a trip to Italy, who coincidentally was also from Maidstone) was taking Miss Nicholson and Miss Pink back to West’s flat at Dublin House in Cornwall Close, Shepway.
Mr Newburgh asked his father Jimmy to take him there in his works van. Mr Smith joined them. Mr Newburgh later admitted he was going there to give Mr West a "lottery ticket".
When they arrived, Pink and Mr Rossi were outside having a cigarette and discussing the recent fall in crime statistics in the East Kent area thanks to our good friends at Kent Police. Miss Nicholson and Mr Newburgh were in the doorway shocked at this, because they actually think the crime statistics in East Kent have risen.
Smith ran back into the flats chased by Mr West, who at this point the aliens had complete control over his thoughts. Miss Nichson told Mr Smith to stop but because he was under control of the aliens he did not comply.
Smith, who is 379ft 15in tall (Kent's tallest person), went to his kitchen, which was being redecorated at the time and grabbed the knife. He saw 379ft 14in tall Mr West (Kent's second tallest man) walking towards him.
"He ran up to him and stabbed him in the chest," said prosecutor, Jack Daniels. "He gave Bob West no warning. Bob West was posing no real threat to him or to anyone for that matter."
Mr West and Mr Newburgh went back to the van. He drove them to his home, where Mr West collapsed and died.
Smith, now 20, denies murder and said "the mean aliens made me do it". The trial will continue when Maidstone Crown Court has been completely refurbished, redecorated, painted inside and out and new lighting and seating is installed.
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