Sunday, 6 January 2013

Man questioned following exposure incident

A man is being questioned by police following an alleged exposure in Dover.

Officers were called to Castle Street at 7.30am today after receiving reports that a man had been seen with his penis hanging out.

A 29-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of exposing his penis in public and is currently in custody at Canterbury police station.

Dover resident Mark Jones said "I saw the man and he had his penis hanging out, looking quite impressed with himself. I was literally disgusted, I almost threw up."

Missing Coke can found

A Coca Cola can which went missing on Wednesday, and was thought to be in the Medway area, has been found say police.

Officers became worried about the aluminium can which belonged to a Maidstone resident as it was an expensive drink that was purchased from the Waitrose on Allington Park. Lisa Westmoor, 26, dropped the can shortly after purchase and it proceeded to roll down the street. Westmoor attempted to chase after it but it was too fast.

Police believed it may have been in the Cliffe Woods area as it was rolling in that general direction. On Sunday they said it had been found, but could not give any more details than that. The can has been returned to Westmoor.

Friday, 4 January 2013

Car hits statue after police chase

A car ended up hitting a statue after a police chase in Cambridge. The statue is a 50-foot tall bronze statue of John Powley, chairman of Cambridgeshire County Council.

The automatic blue Audi “rolled” into the statue in the city centre, following last night’s pursuit.

A spokeswoman for Cambridgeshire police said the pursuit started at 6.20pm in Chesterton Road.

Two people have been arrested on suspicion of fraud and failing to stop. It is expected they will be forced to pay for repairs to the statue which could cost over £100,000,000, they may also have to pay up to £1,000,000,000,000,000 in damages to John Powley and Cambridgeshire County Council. As well as that they could be looking at 50 years each in the slammer.

The statue was erected in Cambridge city centre because the residents of Cambridge "thought it would look nice".

Road reopens after Asda receipt is found on M2 near Sittingbourne

A section of the M2 has reopened - more than eight hours after an Asda receipt was found near a slip road.

Highways Agency experts say the receipt has now been removed from near the exit slip road at Junction 5 of the M2 coastbound carriageway for Sittingbourne and the Stockbury roundabout.

It was found at 8.15am by a passing motorist who had to swerve to avoid it. Michael Blackburn said "I was driving to work and out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a plain, basic, white piece of paper on the road. I had to swerve my car to avoid the receipt as I didn't want it sticking to my tyre. I almost crashed and could have been killed, but it was worth it knowing my tyre was receipt-free."

Agency staff said the clearance operation was made more difficult because of the position of the receipt and the length of it.

But traffic built up throughout the day, with motorists reporting delays back to Junction 4 and beyond.

Police, ambulance and the Highways Agency were all called to the scene. The road was closed to traffic at 8.30am.

A woman who drove past the receipt, but who doesn’t wish to be named, said she was shocked that it was sitting in the middle of the road.

She said: “The receipt was just sitting in the middle of the road, I couldn't believe what I was seeing."

“It’s surprising nobody was injured as this happened during rush hour."

Highways officers eventually took the decision to stop traffic travelling along the M2 at around 8.45am.

The receipt is believed to have belonged to Jurijs Popovs who dropped the receipt in Sittingbourne on New Years Day. He is due in court over the incident and it is now believed he will receive the death sentence for the disruption that was caused today.

Litter suspect Jurijs Popovs in court after rubbish found in Sittingbourne

A man accused of dropping litter in the early hours of New Year’s Day made a brief appearance at Maidstone Crown Court today.

Jurijs Popovs was charged after an Asda receipt was found outside a block of flats in Henley Place, London Road, Teynham, near Sittingbourne.

Popovs, of Henley Place, will return to court on March 8 to enter a plea. A provisional trial date was set for July 1.

The 47-year-old, who spoke only to be identified through a Russian interpreter, was remanded in custody. It is expected he will either be deported back to Russia with his UK visa/citizenship revoked, or if the court sees fit he may receive the death penalty. He may also be looking at a fine of up to £1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 in damages to Kent Council.

Monday, 22 October 2012

District of Columbia to be withdrawn, Washington will become part of VA or MD

It was announced today that the District of Columbia (D.C.) is to be withdrawn from the USA and Washington, the capital of the United States is to be come part of either Virginia or Maryland, based on a vote.

The vote will take place on December 31st by residents of D.C. and the result will be announced on the 1st January.

If Virginia wins the vote then Washington will officially be placed in Fairfax County, if Maryland wins then it will be in Montgomery County. Either way it shouldn't make much of a dent to the wallets of residents because to live in the suburbs of Washington D.C. you must be extremely minted.

But that has not stopped people complaining about this proposal. Throughout November and December there will be several protests in Washington D.C. from residents of both states.

Currently, the D.C. state line starts just south of Silver Spring and circles around the city ending just near Alexandria. However in the new year this could all change.

The fear of residents is that the taxes will raise in which ever state Washington becomes part of. One Virginian could be heard saying "Leave my wallet alone!".

The integration will take place on 1st January 2013.

Sunday, 7 October 2012

Spaceship on Motorway

A spaceship toppled off its trailer and ended up on one of the busiest sections of the M20.

The flying saucer, believed to be a Universe Liner 5300, worth around 600,000 Space Dollars fell onto the motorway just after midday on Saturday.

It was being towed on the motorway towards London by an alien believed to be from the planet Neptune, when the accident happened between junction 2 for Wrotham and the M25 interchange at Swanley.

No-one was injured in the accident but it caused some problems on the motorway yesterday and some repairs to the spaceship have been required.