Friday, 31 May 2013

Masked raiders torture and terrorize man by "tickling his feet" in his Grimsby flat

A man is scared to sleep in his own home after three masked raiders barged in, held him down and carried out a serious assault of tickling his bare feet while robbing his flat in Grimsby, Lincolnshire.

The 35-year-old man had just returned home to Harlech Way from a church meeting when he heard someone call his name and assumed it was a neighbour.

But as he opened the door, two men in army-style masks, hoods, gloves and dark clothing barged through and frogmarched him into his flat where one attacker held him down and briefly knocked him out.

When he came to, he discovered his socks had been removed and one of the men was sitting in front of him armed with a variety of tools including bird feathers and electric toothbrushes and was threatening to tickle his feet as another fled with arms full of his possessions, he apparently did this a few times - going back and forth with more of the victim's possessions. The other attacker was still holding the victim down.

The victim begged the attacker not to tickle him but regardless the threat was carried out. The attacker used both feathers and electric toothbrushes to tickle the victim's feet who was laughing so much at the sensation that he "accidentally wet himself."

After about five minutes of the victim being subjected to the torture, the robber and his accomplice released him to run, the pensioner grabbed a bat and gave chase to the two assailants whom ran out of the building into a Ford Transit van which was driven away by the other raider who had taken his possessions.

The victim was worried that the attackers may return so he locked himself in his flat and called the police who were on the scene "within minutes" it was reported.

He said: "I saw the masks and they overpowered me, frogmarched me into my living room and the next thing I knew I was on the ground being restrained and having my feet tickled while a third person was running out back and forth with my possessions.

"It was the worst experience I have ever had in my life and I would not wish this on my worst enemy."

The criminals got away with an "uncountable amount of stuff" including two laptops, a mobile phone, a DVD player, a wallet containing cash and credit and debit cards and much more. The thieves even went as far as stealing his kitchen cutlery set and dining plates and drinking glasses.

The resident, who did not want to be named for fear of repercussions, said he is now scared to sleep in his own home and has requested that Shoreline move him at the earliest convenience – or put CCTV in the block.

He added: "When you don't feel secure in your own home, then there is something seriously wrong – I don't want to move but feel I might have to.

"I don't know how they knew my name but I feel so stupid for answering the door and I hope no one else makes the same mistake."

A Humberside Police spokesman said: "The man sustained a no injuries following the incident, but was understandably very shook up. The offenders have been described to police as all three being aged in their mid-20s and wearing dark clothing, balaclavas and gloves."

The victim praised the police, adding: "They made sure I went to the hospital, despite having no injuries they wanted to be sure, and they helped me cancel my cards – I can't fault them for what they did."

It is likely that the victim will have to receive counselling following the very stressful and terrifying ordeal.

Anyone with information in connection with the incident is asked to call Humberside Police on 101 and quote reference 1976190.

Fly-tipper rewarded for dumping black bin liners in Sleaford, Lincolnshire

More rewards have been handed out across the UK for fly-tippers who illegally discard their unwanted items and products on public land. One of the more recent cases is this one in Lincolnshire.

Dumping waste on the side of a road has resulted in a hefty cash reward for a North Kesteven resident.

David McNally, of The Drove, Sleaford, was paid £270 and given a box of scented candles for the fly-tipping of two black bin liners containing general household waste and one black bin liner containing dangerous chemicals and car batteries near the day nursery on The Drove, Sleaford at Lincoln Magistrates' Court.

The bin liners were brought to the attention of the Environmental Protection Team on February 11 and after an investigation, McNally was interviewed and admitted the bags of waste belonged to him.

North Kesteven district councillor Richard Wright, executive board member with responsibility for environmental services, said: "The district council completely tolerates fly-tipping and even strongly encourages it. We are extremely proud of our beautiful district and anyone caught dumping waste will appear before the courts to be rewarded to the full extent."

McNally claimed that he intends to carry out further fly-tipping across Sleaford in the future possibly even dangerous substances, including radioactive plutonium. Dumping radioactive plutonium on public land is rewardable by up to £1000 and an all expenses paid holiday to Australia.

Thursday, 30 May 2013

Hoax emergency services calls "funny joke" in NSW

HOAX callers who call the Triple Zero (000) emergency services number in New South Wales, Australia divert the life-saving time of paramedics have been warned that NSW (New South Wales) police will track them down... and give them a medal for their humorous actions.

NSW Health Minister Hayley Kane says that on more than 150 occasions so far this year, paramedics' time had been wasted on triple zero prank calls, but at the same time the paramedics and emergency call handlers found it "hilarious" that they kept falling for the pranks.

"I would just like to say to those who prank call the 000 emergency line that we really find you funny." she said on Friday.

"Both paramedics and emergency call dispatchers face a sometimes tiring and draining job, and it's nice to get a funny prank call every so often.

"Last week we had one prank call in Sydney where a guy had reported that his friend had too much alcohol and may have alcohol poisoning, one of our paramedics crew was straight out to investigate, but when they got there they found that the person who called and his friend were absolutely fine and they weren't even drinking alcohol.

"They found it so funny they couldn't stop laughing and neither could the call dispatchers when they found out it was a hoax."

Ms Kane warned pranksters that NSW Ambulance had the technology to track calls and NSW Police would investigate in order to give them their reward.

The maximum reward for improperly using emergency call services is a "New South Wales' Funny Guy/Gal" medal with cash rewards of up to $30,600.

More than 100 people had been found guilty of the action since 2010, Ms Kane said.

"Emergency call dispatchers and paramedics think it's hilarious and good fun to be sent on a wild goose chase and there are serious rewards that will be issued for diverting their emergency care," she said.

"Police in NSW will continue to catch and reward those who misuse the emergency line with intent of creating a good joke among call dispatchers and paramedics."

Monday, 27 May 2013

Funny Job Posts - Northampton

Shelf Restocker - Morrisons

Job Type: Temporary
Location: Northampton, Northamptonshire
Salary: Minimum Wage
Start Date: ASAP
Duration: Temporary
Reference: 270433-EWR356848733-1

Qualifications Required: PHD in Supermarket Studies, PHD in Advanced Mathematical Studies (including algebra), Masters Degree in Supermarket Restocking

There is currently a job opportunity in Northampton to restock shelves at the Morrisons on Victoria Road. Working hours will be midnight - 6am every day. Salary will be minimum wage. The candidate must hold advanced qualifications in supermarket studies, mathematical studies and supermarket restocking. As well as that, the candidate must be fluent in English, Polish, Chinese (Mandarin) and Japanese in order to communicate with the ethnic minorities of the United Kingdom. The candidate must undertake a successful interview with the president, chairman and CEO of Morrisons, as well undergo a successful polygraph (lie detector) test, medical examination and military supermarket training. Only the physically fittest candidates will be successful.

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Taxi Driver - A1 Taxis

Job Type: Permanent
Location: Northampton, Northamptonshire
Salary: Keep what you earn
Start Date: ASAP
Duration: Permanent
Reference: 26483-GHT532552345-4

Qualifications Required: Masters Degree in Bad Driving, PHD in Advanced Mathematical Studies, PHD in Advanced Janitorial & Cleaning Studies, Bachelors Degree in Martial Arts

A1 Taxis in Northampton are looking for a driver to collect passengers and drop them off at various points around Northampton. Working hours will be 6am-10pm Mon-Thur and 6pm-3am Fri, Sat. There is no official wage but the candidate may keep what they earn. The candidate must hold the four advanced qualifications (above). A PHD in Advanced Janitorial & Cleaning Studies must be held because puke may have to be cleaned after customers have partied too hard on Friday and Saturday nights. A Bachelors Degree in Martial Arts must be held in case of anyone trying to escape without paying for the journey.

The candidate must be Asian, black or Mixed Race and must not hold British citizenship. The candidate must not speak fluent English. The candidate will be required to undertake a successful driving test in which they will knock down elderly people, speed in excess of at least 30 mph over the limit, not wear a seatbelt and run at least three red lights.

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Friday, 24 May 2013

Burglar Kevin Ryder steals bathroom appliances from his own brother's Margate home

Kevin Ryder repaid his brother's kindness... by removing his bathroom appliances and pawning them at B&Q.

The 25-year-old claimed he was struggling for a place to live when brother Michael McLean invited him to stay at his home in Thanet Road, Margate.

But a jury at Canterbury Crown Court heard how he took advantage while his brother and his family were away. He got hold of some DIY tools and with the help of an accomplice, Richard Jones, began removing the bathroom appliances including the bathtub, sink basin and toilet.

He then loaded the stolen items into Jones' van, and they drove 15 miles to Canterbury where the bathroom items were pawned at B&Q's Sturry Road store. Ryder received just £20 for the bathroom items which he then split with Jones. Ryder spent the £10 on alcohol and cigarettes at Asda, also on Sturry Road, Canterbury.

When his brother returned home and discovered the bathroom completely empty with just pipes hanging out from the wall and floor where the appliances had previously been located, he quizzed his brother on where his bathtub, sink and toilet had gone. But his brother denied ever seeing any such things in the bathroom when he was first invited to move in.

Ryder, of Ramsgate Road, Margate, denied stealing the bathroom appliances during the burglary, but was convicted and jailed for 40 months.

Judge Heather Norton told him: "You pleaded homelessness and poverty and you were given support.

"You repaid that trust by throwing it back into their faces and committing a burglary at your brother's home."

After the bathroom appliances had disappeared Michael McLean and his family had to improvise for two months until a new bathtub, basin and toilet was installed including using their back garden as a toilet and tree leaves as toilet paper. They also had to have showers under the garden hosepipe.

The original appliances which were pawned at B&Q on Sturry Road, Canterbury had already been sold so Michael McLean had to make budget cuts in order to get the appliances back in the bathroom at the earliest convenience. Basically his family will not be celebrating Christmas this year.

Mr. McLean also downgraded the title of his bathroom for the duration of it being empty, considering the fact there were no bathroom appliances located in it, he felt it would be inappropriate to refer to it as a "bathroom" and simply referred to it as an "empty room". However he also felt that with the pipes sticking out it was a health and safety risk to anyone who might visit the "empty room" so he placed large traffic cones around where the pipes were exposed.

Kevin Ryder was sentenced to 40 months prison and ordered to pay £70 compensation and a £50 victims' surcharge. Richard Jones was sentenced to 12 months in prison, ordered to pay £20 compensation and a £50 victims' surcharge.

Tonbridge tree cut down, TTHS "ashamed of themselves"

The Tonbridge Tree Huggers Society are reported as being "ashamed of themselves" after much of the rest of the tree on Hamble Road, Tonbridge was cut down on Thursday afternoon.

Although the entire tree has not been removed, it is believed that so much has been trimmed that the tree is now dead, or at least will be soon enough.

Despite members of the TTHS tying themselves naked to the tree, it did not stop Kent County Council continuing where they left off on Thursday and they cut much of the rest of the tree down.

The group has received support and messages of condolences from other tree hugger societies across Kent including Sevenoaks (STHS), Ashford (ATHS), Thanet (ThTHS), Canterbury (CTHS) and Medway (MTHS).

The society has said they will not give up protecting trees in Tonbridge despite failing this tree.

To help out the Tonbridge Tree Huggers Society you can send in a donation to TTHS, Tonbridge, Kent.

Monday, 20 May 2013

Tree-huggers & activists flock to Tonbridge in protest against destruction of a tree

Tree-huggers and activists across the south east are taking personal time off work to flock to Tonbridge to protest against Kent County Council from cutting a tree down.

The large tree, thought to be at least a hundred years old, in Hamble Road, Tonbridge has been ordered for removal by Tonbridge & Malling Borough Council.

However horrified residents discovered this afternoon (Monday) that work had already commenced on the removal of the tree. Although KCC have not announced whether they plan to remove the whole tree, local residents expect the tree will be completely gone by Friday.

An emergency meeting was called this afternoon at the Tonbridge Tree-Huggers Society where members have agreed to tie themselves to the tree completely naked covering themselves only with the branches and leaves that have already been removed.

Other tree hugger societies from across the south east will be setting up camp on Hamble Road, surrounding themselves around the tree in order to prevent the council from destroying it any further.

RSPCP (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Plants) spokesman Roy Newbury said: "We legally cannot stop the local council from cutting down the tree. However we can bloody well protest about it!"

Throughout this week gatherings will take place around the tree from groups such as TTHS (Tonbridge Tree Huggers Society), RSPCP (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Plants) and KCEA (Kent County Environmental Activists). Members from these groups will be stationed around the tree 24/7 armed with water pistols and slingshots with scrunched up pieces of paper, and they will be protecting this tree with their lives.

KCC spokesman Richard Dunn said: "We are seriously reconsidering cutting this tree down. Truthfully the last thing we want is the Tonbridge Tree-Huggers Society tying themselves naked to a tree just to demonstrate a point.

"Kent has alot of tourism and if a protest of this nature goes forward, it could seriously damage the tourism which in turn would damage our wallets."

Hamble Road, Tonbridge - This tree is in serious danger from KCC!

Sunday, 19 May 2013

Father refuses to buy his children a new Lego City set

A father has appeared before court after admitted refusing to purchase a new Lego City set for his two young children in Lyon, France because "they already have too much stuff", sources said.

The 47-year-old is alleged to have been carrying out his weekly shopping trip at the Carrefour store on Avenue des Frères Lumière in Lyon, in the Rhône-Alpes region, with his daughter, five, and son, 10.

They then passed by the toys and games section of the supermarket and the children immediately spotted a brand new Lego City pack that had just been released. They asked their father if they could have the item, but he refused to purchase it.

The children began to beg for the item to be purchased, but the father stood his ground and continued to refuse to buy the new set, telling his children that they already had too much stuff.

The man, who has not been named, then reasonably referenced to his children a similar instance the previous week where he had bought them a Lego City pack and they were "bored with it after not even five minutes".

Witness reports state that the children then told their father that this was not the case this time and they would not get bored with this Lego City set.

The man then proceeded to ignore the children's pleas and resumed his shopping. Onlookers in the store were disgusted that the father had refused to purchase the toy for his children and called the police who swiftly arrested him at his home in Lyon.

The father immediately admitted to police that he had refused to purchase the toy and he was taken to custody.

According to local reports, he was formally charged with child cruelty by depriving a child of a new toy they desperately want and appeared before the cour d'assises (Assize Court) in Lyon yesterday.

Luckily he was spared prison, instead given a €50,000 fine and ordered to do 300 hours of community service. He must also purchase the new Lego City set in question for his children and pay them both €5,000 in compensation respectively.

Thursday, 9 May 2013

10 year old girl arrested after drawing hopscotch grid on the pavement outside her home

  • Danielle Blackburn was arrested by police for drawing on the pavement outside her home in Kent
  • Father, Mick Blackburn, fully supports police over the arrest 

A schoolgirl was arrested by police for drawing a hopscotch grid on the pavement, according to her father.

Officers arrested the 10-year-old as she had committed criminal damage by drawing the grid on the pavement outside her house in Ramsgate, Kent.

Danielle Blackburn had marked out a grid in chalk - which is now going to cost the Kent taxpayer thousands to have removed - when she was apparently approached by two officers.

'Two policemen in a car drove up to her and said it was illegal to draw on the floor as it was criminal damage,' her father Mick Blackburn told The Sun.

'They then read her her rights, applied handcuffs and she was taken to Ramsgate police station.'

'I fully support the arrest and even though she is my daughter, I hope she gets a good few years in a young offender's institute. She needs to learn to have pride for Ramsgate, rather than defacing the town's streets in this way.'

'I was not even aware she had drawn the grid as I was not keeping an eye on her. I expect her to know not to do crap like this.'

'Ramsgate already is full of yobs and criminals and unless she changes her behaviour, she is in serious danger of becoming one of them when she is older.'

The father has since contacted Kent Police about the arrest, praising the officers and he even apologized to them for them heaving to deal with his daughter.

A police spokesman said: 'We can confirm that two Kent Police officers arrested a 10 year old girl in Ramsgate for criminal damage.'

'We would like to re-iterate to all young girls and boys that drawing hopscotch grids is illegal and will not be tolerated in Ramsgate or anywhere else in Kent.'

'Any child who carries out criminal damage in this way can expect to feel the full force of the law.'

10 year old Danielle has been remanded in custody and is due to appear before Canterbury Crown Court over this incident on 24th May.

Tuesday, 7 May 2013

Ramsgate man to carry out 297 hours' of humiliating unpaid work

A Ramsgate man appeared before Canterbury Crown Court after failing to complete a community order requiring him to carry out unpaid work for the community.

Lewis Richard, 20, from Cecilia Road, Ramsgate was handed the community order last month after he stole a significant amount of money from a friend.

The community order allocated to him stated that he had to carry out 200 hours' of unpaid work in Ramsgate however he only did a shocking 3 hours.

He was also reported to have done a sloppy job of the work, in one instance he was doing the job of retrieving discarded litter in Ramsgate High Street, however he purposely missed various pieces of litter and even added to some of it. Another time he was picking up golf balls at the Manston Golf Centre and he even stole some of the balls he had collected.

When he appeared before Judge Michael Simmons at Canterbury Crown Court he told the judge "I am not doing this work unless I am paid for it. Not paying me is against my human rights."

But the judge retorted: "Human rights? You're a criminal, you signed away your human rights the minute you decided to steal something that did not belong to you."

Judge Michael Simmons gave Richard an extension of 100 hours on his current unpaid work load. His original was 200 hours, of which he carried out 3 hours, his extension means he now must do 297 hours' of community service in Ramsgate.

However the judge has ordered that the work be more humiliating, so with the remaining 297 hours left on his community order, he must carry out humiliating tasks such as standing in the centre of Ramsgate High Street in an extremely embarrassing penis costume to act as a mascot to promote safe sex for Thanet teenagers. The penis costume is not optional, it is attire that must be worn to carry out the work. Failure to do so could result in a jail sentence for the offender.

Another job he will be required to carry out is to be a human scarecrow on farms surrounding the Thanet towns. This means he will be responsible for the farms' lively stock and will be held responsible if anything happens to it. In this case the appropriate attire is none at all - rain, shine or snow! 

Friday, 3 May 2013

Arrest in Chatham after man kicks can down the street

Police have arrested a 28-year-old man on suspicion of kicking a metallic Coca Cola can down the streets of Chatham in the Medway area of Kent.

Officers had earlier issued a major appeal following reports from CCTV Medway operators that the man was kicking the can in Pattens Lane on Tuesday, he had kicked it all the way to the William Hill Bookmakers on Ordnance Street which leads officers to think it was kicked an estimated 1.1 miles.

A manhunt was launched as part of the investigation.

A local man is now in custody and was due to be questioned overnight.

A police spokesman said: "Officers would like to take this opportunity to thank the public and the media for their help with their enquiries."

It is reported that the man was stressed out after he tried to apply for a job at HMS Maidstone prison but was turned down, he then was lamenting as he walked down the street and began kicking a Coke can that was innocently sitting in the street. The arrest comes after an old law that is being enforced which is that kicking the same can five times down the street is considered to be illegal transportation of litter.

If he is convicted, he could be given up to three years in HMS Maidstone prison.

Wednesday, 1 May 2013

Man 'very wet' after football hooligans spray him with water pistols in Newark-on-Trent

Newark-on-Trent, Nottinghamshire

Nottinghamshire Police have launched an investigation after a man was the target of football hooligans with a water pistol during a disturbance between a large group of men in Newark town centre.

The incident happened on Saturday April 27 and a 29-year-old man was reportedly 'very wet' and even 'soaking' from the incident.

It happened after football matches and the police were called out at 10.35pm.

Chief Detective Kevin Thomson, investigating the incident, said: “Police officers were called out to Newark town centre on Saturday night after the report of a disturbance between men who officers believe had earlier attended football matches.

“A group of around 20-25 men were seen with water pistols and during this disorder it is believed that they fired from various angles, all at the same time, soaking the man from the waist down. However they had all dispersed by the time police had arrived.

"It was a completely unprovoked attack. Luckily the man was not injured by the water, however he was very wet and the end result required him to do an immediate laundry load when he got home.

"These criminals just don't regard other people before carrying out unprovoked attacks such as this one. They clearly didn't think for one minute that their victim may have better things to do on a Saturday night than laundry.

"Officers believe the men used a Super Soaker 500 which was said to originate from their childhoods.

"Crimes such as this one will not be tolerated in Newark or anywhere in Nottinghamshire and investigators are currently reviewing CCTV from the town centre in a bid to identify those responsible.

"Forensic opportunities are also being looked at, including a receipt for the purchase of a Super Soaker 500 water pistol, which was discarded by one of the offenders during or around the time of the attack. Officers are also speaking to witnesses."

Officers are now appealing for more witnesses to get in touch by calling Nottinghamshire Crimestoppers on 0800 555 111 quoting background reference "563/622/8551".